What Does it Really Mean to Be Stressed or Relaxed?

Let me answer that question by comparing what is going on in your body and your mind when you are stressed compared to when you are relaxed.

The Stressed State

Think of the stressed state as a state of heightened arousal. This heightened arousal mobilizes the energy and tension you need to either "fight" or "flee" from threats to your well-being (aka stressors). Some of the things going on in your body and mind in this state are:

• Increased negative thinking and unhelpful self-talk.
• Increased nervous system arousal.
• Increased muscular system tension.

Increased Negative Thinking and Unhelpful Self-Talk

What your mind tells you about a potential stressor determines whether or not it becomes an actual stressor. It all begins between your ears. Usually, your mind focuses on rational and helpful thoughts and feelings as it goes about its business of processing information related to your everyday living.

All of this changes, however, when you get stressed. Your mind shifts into self-preservation mode and you go on high alert. As a way to protect you from harm, your mind analyzes everything and projects an infinite stream of "what if" and "why" questions and scenarios that are designed to help you fight or flee from the stressful situation.

Increased negative thinking and unhelpful self-talk causes your brain to work overtime processing stressful information. It floods your mind with an endless procession of fearful, negative, and pessimistic thoughts, concerns, and worries.

Increased Nervous System Arousal

Your brain and nervous system work together like a large telephone network. Like the telephone network that has thousands of messages entering and leaving from various telephone lines and cell towers located throughout the region it serves, your brain has neural networks that do the same thing with your sensations, thoughts, and feelings.

Every waking moment, messages are sent and received from your senses (sight, sound, taste, touch, smell), your internal organs, your muscles, your skin, and from every part of your brain. These messages have to be received, decoded, and acted upon. Normally, your brain has no problem doing this, and you go about your daily life unaware of these transactions between your body, mind, and environment.

All of this changes, however, when confronted by a potential stressor.

Think about the telephone network again and what happens during an emergency when everyone is on their phones at the same time trying to make a call. There are so many additional people making calls and going online that it floods the system, slows things to a crawl, and causes your message to fail, get delayed, or get garbled.

The same thing happens when your brain works overtime sending and receiving millions of stress-related nerve transmissions during a stressful period. During this time, your mind doesn't process information as accurately or quickly as it normally does. Your nervous system shifts into self-preservation mode and directs messages to the various organs and muscles that prepare you to fight or flee.

Increased Muscle Tension

Your skeletal muscles work by contracting and relaxing as they go about their daily business of helping you walk, run, push, lift, and pull things. The increased muscle tension associated with the stress response results in your skeletal, smooth, and cardiac muscles being readied for action. Think of this state of readiness as a kind of isometric exercise.

The main difference is that in gym class when you did isometric exercises, the sustained contraction you got from pulling or pushing against an immovable object was followed by a relaxation of the muscles and a release of the tension you built up.

During the stress response, this state of chronic tension is called bracing and is the result of incomplete contraction and relaxation of your skeletal, smooth, and cardiac muscles. When your skeletal muscles are chronically tense, your body feels tight and on edge, making it hard to relax and feel comfortable. In addition, it can cause chronic pain, cramping, and muscle spasms. Smooth muscle bracing is related to a host of digestive system disorders and cardiac muscle bracing can result in chest pains that mimic angina or other cardiac symptoms.

The Relaxed State

The relaxed state is the exact opposite of the stressed state. The two states are diametrically opposed and cannot co-exist. When you put your body into a relaxed state, it cancels out the stressed state. You simply cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time. Some of the things going on in your body and mind in the relaxed state are:

• Increased rational thinking and helpful self-talk.
• Decreased central and peripheral nervous system arousal.
• Decreased muscular system tension.

Increased Rational Thinking and Helpful Self-Talk

Remember, what your mind tells you about a potential stressor determines whether or not it becomes an actual stressor. When you are relaxed, your mind is thinking clearly. In essence, your mind processes information in a calmer, more rational and logical way. It doesn’t dwell on the unhelpful and negative thoughts associated with your daily activities. It lets them pass and returns to focusing on helpful or benign thoughts and feelings as it goes about getting you through the day.

Decreased Nervous System Arousal

Instead of being on high alert like it is during the stress response, when you are relaxed, your brain returns to its normal processing. Your brain slows down, allowing you to think clearly and rationally. You regain your ability to focus your attention on what you are doing. The runaway firing of nerve transmissions to your vital organs and skeletal muscles slows down, allowing them to relax and function normally.

Decreased Muscle Tension

When you are relaxed, tension in both your smooth (internal organs) and skeletal muscles decreases. Instead of being tight, twisted, and primed for action, your muscles unwind and return to their normal looser state.

While the stress response is vital and can save your life, your body simply cannot keep it up indefinitely. Continued stress activation when you are not faced with real threats to your well-being will wear you down and eventually exhaust you, causing a myriad of different physical and mental disorders. This is why it is so important to intentionally put your body in a relaxed state on a regular basis.

In my next column, I will share with you a very simple technique that can help you relax and break the stress response.