Writing a Life

Dear Undecided,

Perfect timing. I recently created a four-part memoir writing class for a group of senior citizens. I’ll share some of the things I learned as I put the class together, and what I learned from the twenty participants.

A company that sends its subscribers prompts to help them write their life stories advertises the following benefits to writing a memoir. Perhaps this list will help you decide if writing your memoir is worth it.

- Boosts memory clarity and recall.

- Lowers stress by “offloading” emotions.

- Strengthens your sense of identity.

- Helps make sense of your life timeline.

- Passes down wisdom across generations.

- Activates your natural “legacy instinct.”

- Reinforces positive memories.

- Promotes calm and emotional balance.

I agree that these are benefits, however, what they’re selling is not memoir writing, it’s autobiography. Let’s clarify the definition. An autobiography focuses on the chronology of the writer's entire life. A memoir covers one specific aspect.

You’re correct in saying you want to write a memoir; the aspect of your life when you lived in a commune.

Here are five steps to consider as you write your memoir:

• Lead with a dramatic moment. Grab your reader from the beginning. You can revisit this event in greater detail later but sharing an exciting glimpse of what’s to come engages the reader. Describe that opening scene with vivid sensory details.’
• Always tell the truth—even the hard truths. Build trust with your readers whether they’re exclusively family or the public in general. If your memoir is filled with “sunshine and flowers,” people will know you’re not being totally authentic. Also, digging deep for the “hard truths” is one way you grow through your writing experience.
• Write with emotion. Your story needs to evoke emotion in readers. Write from your heart and use language that will resonate on an emotional level. This includes humor. Even if your story is filled with tragedy, pull out a bit of humor. Readers won’t want to feel down throughout an entire book.
• Think like a fiction writer. Although your memoir is the true story of a particular time in your life, consider what you enjoy in a book of fiction. For instance, establish yourself as the main character, build out the setting, use conflict, have a central theme. Create a story with a strong beginning, middle, and end.
• Show don’t tell. This is one of the cardinal rules for fiction writers. For example:

Tell: Jason was scared when he saw the monster.

Show: Jason’s heart raced as a shadowy figure caught the corner of his eye.

Though these sentences contain the same basic information, the show version puts readers into the mindset of the main character through details such as his body language and emotional state rather than simply telling the reader that a character is scared.

I hope this basic information is enough to get you started. I’d also recommend that you go to the library or check your bookstore for books on memoir writing, including Memoir Writing For Dummies.

Writing a memoir takes hard work and the process isn’t for the faint of heart but in my opinion, it’s well worth the effort. Good luck!