We Don’t Do That Anymore

I would like to say it’s great to be back, only that would not be all that truthful. Besides, I’m still suffering from a bad case of jetlag that has had me wide awake and wandering around the house at 3:00 AM like a lost soul. 

I thanked my daughter for filling in for me during my European sojourn. I was able to read what she wrote online over there, and there is no doubt she’s a chip off the old block. From what I gathered looking at the feedback she has been getting, I could soon be out of a job here. She will continue to “fill in” now and then during my scheduled “before the season starts getaways” this summer. 

I have only been in the shop a couple of days and WOW! Are things quiet in this town of Mayberry with sand! Summertime does bring out some peculiar folk with very peculiar requests… And that is the subject of my column today.

Nobody wants to hear it, including yours truly, and especially deal with it. It’s called the word NO or words that actually mean the same thing, such as We don’t carry that any longer! Or my favorite…We don’t do that anymore! Or when they no longer provide a certain service that they used to provide. (Like one of my banks that changes its ownership and names like I change paper towel rolls!) 

Okay, let’s turn on the time machine and go back to the 1970s. There was a time, and maybe some of you may not be aware of this service that is now totally non-existent, you would pull into a gas station and you would hear a loud DING! DING! when your tires rolled over a hose. Out came a gas station attendant running at full speed who would gladly pump the gas for you, then without asking, start cleaning your windshield with soapy water and a squeegee while the car was filled with gas and then politely ask if you needed to the oil checked, air put in your tires, and would even check the antifreeze in your radiator. The extra services would be free - you had to pay for the fuel and at that time, regular gasoline was a whopping 28 cents a gallon. I know and will never forget because I was one of those overworked gas monkeys when I was a teenager and performed the service in the dead of winter and the heat of the summer and every month in between. “I’m sorry we don’t do that anymore!” A funny thing happened last month while in Mallorca, Spain. We pulled into this nondescript gas station to refuel and a female gas attendant insisted I stay in the car while she fueled it for us. I was totally dumbstruck! And she even refused the tip I offered!

Back then they even had cashiers and baggers in the supermarkets - remember those days? I’m joking, but really, I would at least expect a robot to handle that for me today. I love the skit the comedian Bill Burr talks about how apparently, he’s not only a comedian but he now suddenly works in a supermarket ringing up and bagging his purchases! “Son of a gun, I didn’t know I was working today. I didn’t check the schedule and look, I forgot my apron!”

Now it’s time to get back in the time machine and back to the future or current day reality. I hate to admit it is more than just disappointing, but you have to face the fact that pretty much everything is no way and no how the way they used to be, and that has even affected the jewelry business. You can blame it on the internet, the economy or just the quality of manufacturers and consumers in general who watch bottom lines or want everything cheap. Well, all I have to say about that from my experience is if it’s cheap to buy, that also means what you bought is also cheaply made. And that’s international folks! 

Due to current times, economic reasons (it’s always about the money, ask anyone!), supply issues, or what I love in my industry when great selling items are simply discontinued for no apparent reason. I have never been the giver of bad news in the shop like I have been lately, meaning I also have no choice - I have to use the word NO or the statement we no longer do that, carry that or provide that service.

Blame it on a domino effect. The brutal honesty here - if I know for a fact I can’t get the product that you requested because it is no longer available or it’s not the price you want to pay, why waste everyone’s time looking in the haystack when the needle isn’t even in there in the first place?

Remember the customer is always right thing? Sadly, that’s a thing of the past. You can blame that on the lack of customer loyalty. We consumers being always right went out the window when we started buying stuff we can’t see, inspect or touch on the internet from somebody you will never see or talk to in person. 

Today most jewelry businesses have to move on to the next customer in line who has at least requested a piece of jewelry where the probability of creating or acquiring it is not only profitable but feasible and most importantly the outcome where the customer is satisfied with the quality and cost.

 Only recently, a young couple wanted to look at gold wedding bands, and when I took out a catalog of hundreds of styles, they balked. “No catalogs! We want to see them and try them on to see how they look!”  Sorry, we don’t stock a large supply of gold wedding rings! While I do have a nice selection of ladies diamond wedding bands, it does not pay to have a large selection of plain gold men’s and ladies wedding rings. This includes matching bands; no one does that anymore unless you fell out of that time machine I mentioned earlier. On top of that, wedding bands come in every color of gold, white gold, platinum, different widths, sizes and most of all, designs. I could have $100,000 invested in gold wedding bands and I would still have to order them each time. I once carried 50 samples made out of a base metal, and they were expensive - I maybe sold three or four in real gold from those samples in the ten years I had them. Tying up $100,000 in unsellable merchandise is a stupid business practice, especially with the price of gold where it is today…Nobody does that anymore!

Time to move on to another one of my sensitive subjects, with no pun intended. Watch Repair Service. This has become a real issue, at least here in Southwest Florida. Not a day goes by where I have to say, “Sorry, we don’t do that anymore!” My explanation to unhappy customers is simple; I know most of you have heard me lament…I’m a goldsmith not a watchmaker! All the good watchmakers I have known in my lifetime are either retired or deceased and lord knows, I have tried to find someone local who knew their stuff only to find out they don’t know diddly squat and I’m not about to hand over a broken $40K Rolex to an amateur. Let me ask you a question. How many high school kids from the graduating class of “2023” want a lifetime profession as a watchmaker? My percentage calculation…ZERO. I suggest the customer go online - there are many watch repair hospitals and facilities available that do good work. Or use any existing watchmakers family and friends you might know in the big cities up north or out west. Just don’t bring them to me…I don’t provide that service anymore and never will.

I’ll be very frank here. Besides the fact good watchmakers are rare, those that exist are not cheap, plus there is the added cost of having to insure, mail or use expensive alternative carriers to ship the watch both ways and that adds up really quick on repairing an inexpensive watch. Many times if the watch is a totally rusted basket case, it’s smarter to throw it in the circular file and buy a new one.