To Sulk or to Show Up

“Please, please, please, can’t I stay home?” Harley pleaded with his parents, complete with his hands clasped and begging on his knees.

“No, you are too young to stay home by yourself,” Mom replied matter-of-factly.

“Hire a babysitter! I will pay for one with all the money in my piggy bank!” He continued his plea.

Dad tossed up his hands in frustration, “Son, I’m getting a little tired of this. Pack up some things to occupy yourself and let’s get going; we don’t want to be late.” He turned on his heel and left the room.

Mom watched him leave and nodded, “You heard your father, let’s get going.”

Harley pouted and stayed put as Mom left the room; he didn’t notice that Harper now stood quietly in the doorway to his room.

After taking his time to sulk, he went to retrieve a backpack from his closet.

“Do you really not want to cheer me on?” Harper asked quietly from her standing point, her voice trembling a little, stifling tears.

Harley jumped with a startle, now noticing his twin sister dressed in her gymnastics leotard, team jacket, and hair slicked back with gel, spray, and a few bedazzled hair ties with a small ribbon.

She didn’t let him answer, “I still go to all your soccer games even though I don’t play anymore, I always cheer you on.”

“No, Harper, it’s not that I don’t want to cheer for you. It’s that your gymnastics meets are boring.” His answer was too quick, and he immediately felt bad for saying it.

“Boring? Do you know how hard I work to make my routines the best that they can be?” Her voice began to rise.

“Harper, I- “

“No! Forget it, I don’t want you to come!” She rapidly turned around and ran down the hall towards mom and dad.

Feeling bad, but having spoken his truth, Harley wondered if he should continue packing his backpack with activities to keep him busy during the long meet or not bother.

Shortly, dad came into his room. “Well, now you have hurt Harper’s feelings.” His arms were crossed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, but it’s true, Dad! Her meets are boring, I can’t stand going!”

Dad took a deep breath with an understanding nod and came forward to sit on the bed, patting the seat beside him.

Harley approached and took a seat.

“Son, do you know how long some of your soccer games go on for? Especially the tournaments?”

“Well, yeah, but that’s different, they- “

“Different, how?” Dad interrupted, “Because your sister sits on the sidelines of each and every game.”

“She used to play soccer, she enjoys it. I have never done gymnastics, and won’t ever, it’s different.”

“Do you think she enjoys sitting for hours in the sun?”

“She brings stuff to do…” he looked at his empty backpack.

“Don’t you think she would rather be home or doing something else?”

“She can…” Harley was running out of his logic.

“Harley, a part of being a family, and being a sibling, is supporting each other with each other’s interests. Even when their interest has no appeal to you. I understand it can get tiresome sitting in the bleachers and watching a bunch of girls complete routines while waiting for the few minutes of time your sister participates, but it is a part of respecting their efforts, and the time they have practiced.”

Harley looked at his dad in thought.

“Sometimes, showing up means more than just cheering for the few minutes of routines. She wants her brother to be there just as she is there for your soccer games. Even if it may be ‘boring’ for you.”

“I get what you are saying…but…”

“Your sister works hard on her routines for hours each week, just like you practice for your games. As a family, we show up and support, end of discussion. Pack your bag.” He lightly patted Harley’s back and left the room.

Harley was torn. On the one hand, he wanted to keep sulking, but he couldn’t help but recall the dozens and dozens of times Harper worked on her handstands, kick-overs, and splits while they watched a movie long after her practice had ended. That led him to think about how much time he spent in the backyard with his worn soccer ball, doing drills and practicing his footwork. Harper had always been there to help him when he asked.

Standing up, he called his sister’s name. He knew he had an apology to make.

**Do you have a sibling or a close family member who plays a sport that you aren’t that interested in, too? What do you do to pass the time? Do you notice that your presence gives your loved one a boost? What ways can you show your support for a loved one’s interest? Remember that showing up can mean the world to the one playing.