This Year Give the Gift of Presence

In the new year, we set goals, get motivated, and share enthusiasm about the new beginning granted to us as the calendar turns the page to 2023. Whether we do business in person or virtually, being present in a conversation is a gift. This gift can change us and the world around us.

I read a book by famous football coach Lou Holtz, “Winning Every Day,” a few years back. In the book, he shares the acronym W.I.N., What's Important Now? I've used it daily in my life to prioritize tasks. It helps me redirect my focus when I get off track. As the speed of light technology continues to govern our lives, What's Important Now is our presence with others.

As we reflect on this past year, whether it be the loss of loved ones, friends, or physical possessions in the hurricane, we realize that moments pass us by quickly. We have to make a conscious choice to embrace them. With so many daily distractions, it takes work. It takes training and planning to be truly present with someone, which can be a challenge if we don't know how to be present with ourselves. Additionally, with a phone in everyone's palm most of their waking hours, we need to track what it is to be present. 

To be present with ourselves is first to take care of our physical needs. Once we have adequately slept, eaten, and bathed, we can relax, sit, and breathe. Creating a daily routine can help us achieve a more relaxed state. This ritual can include visualization, meditation, and prayer. Spending time in nature, walking, or sun sitting can expend our physical energy. This method releases tension and frustration and allows a connection to the self.

Next, you can take a mental inventory. What are your thoughts? You are only as good as your last thought. Cleansing mental negativity with the breath releases thoughts with each exhalation. Writing out lists to clear our minds further increases our ability to be present. This process brings our attention back to our core or just being. We can allow others to share and warmly welcome their ideas and creativity when we are simply being

Once we are content with our presence, we can be better listeners to others. An effective way to do this is to avoid phones and devices while with them. I recently saw the documentary “The Social Dilemma.” It's a film about social media, its addictive quality, and the responsibility the companies involved have to us as the product. In the movie, there was a scene at the family dinner table, and every member was on their phone. The mother demands all phones, and she puts them in a lockbox. An uncomfortable silence falls upon them, they are all fidgeting, and finally, the youngest daughter breaks the container to retrieve her phone and runs upstairs to her room. 

Solely sitting at the table together wasn't the answer for drawing this family closer together. Instead, they needed to learn how to be present with each other, even without their phones. Sadly, this is the disturbing truth in many households. After the movie, I was upset but motivated, knowing that the information and tools I share can help turn this situation around.

If we ask ourselves What's Important Now, most of us know the answer, and it isn't our phone. So this New Year season, we can put the devices aside and ask questions. People love to talk about their passions, interests, goals, and desires. Make eye contact. Listen to grandma's story that you may have heard a hundred times. Open your heart to the sob story of the depressed family member. When a co-worker gossips, redirect the conversation to positive, humorous topics. Sing songs, dance, and play games or cards (not on your device). Immerse yourself in the process of being alive and give the gift of presence