Thinking About Our Parents

Sitting here this morning, my thoughts went to two of the holidays we celebrated during the past six weeks or so. Those two were Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Both of these holidays bring back great memories for the vast majority of us.  

Recent numbers show that currently there are 13.6 million single parents raising over 21 million children. That breaks down to 80% single mothers and 20% single fathers bringing up their children. Out of those numbers, 11 million of those single-parent families have children under the age of 18.

As I think about this, I reflect back on my own family’s situation. My dad died shortly after his 45th birthday as a result of cancer, after a 10-month battle with that terrible disease. That left my mother alone in 1966 to raise two sons and a daughter. I was 17, my sister 15, and my younger brother only 10.

It must have been quite a struggle for my mom, but I don’t recall ever being cold or hungry. As a result of her hard work and determination, we saw our way through some trying times. I don’t tell you this for any other reason except to explain why my heart goes out to those men and women who have, or are facing, similar challenges.

While pondering these thoughts, I came to question why we don’t have a “parents’ day” as a holiday.  To my surprise, I found that there actually is a “Parents’ Day.” Although not an “official holiday,” it was established when then-President Clinton signed into law Congressional Resolution 36 U.S.C. § 135, which established the fourth Sunday in July as “Parents’ Day.”

The resolution was sponsored by United States Senator Trent Lott, a Republican from Mississippi.  It was done to recognize the influence of parents in the uplifting and supporting role that parents play in the raising of their children.

Like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, “Parents’ Day” doesn’t give you a day off,  but it does recognize the work done in the parenting of our nation’s children. I suppose if there were a vote or two to be garnered in sponsoring this type of legislation and the promise of a paid holiday, it might have received greater public attention.

My point here isn’t to diminish the wonderful nature in the recognition of Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, as the merits of both have stood the test of time. However, recognition of the value of “parenting” is something that deserves our utmost respect and support.

It is through our observance of our parents’ behavior and treatment of others that we gain some of our most important character traits as we grow into our adolescent years. We truly do learn by example, and the examples we observe in our very early years are extremely important in the formation of our own basic personalities.

Providing us with inspiration to be independent thinkers, so we can face the challenges we will encounter as adults, is just one example of that. They provide us role models from which we learn how to deal with others and with the tests that we will face during our formative years and as adults.

It was a shame that, as adults, my sister, brother and I never had the opportunity to spend time with my dad. I know all three of us could have learned a great deal more from him, but we were fortunate enough to acquire an excellent foundation from that short time we were exposed to him prior to his passing.

His fortitude in dealing with the challenges he faced in his battle with cancer revealed to me his courage, and his determination not to feel sorry for himself. He never once muttered any words of self-pity or sought sympathy. Instead, after an operation to remove a growth from his spine which left him paralyzed from the waist down, he was determined to make the most of it and learned how to use his upper body strength to pivot from bed into a wheelchair to regain his freedom.

I found such great pride in driving him to the golf course so he could share the comradery of his many friends at the clubhouse. Or the pride I had driving him to his final competitive contract bridge tournament where he and his partner came away with the win before his declining health stole that one last joy from his life.

Yes, I’ll always find joy in both the celebrations of Mother’s and Father’s Day. However, I am overjoyed to know that we do have a Parents’ Day to celebrate, regardless of the makeup of those individual family units, and hope that one day there never will be a single-parent family, regardless of the reason.