Things are Quiet…. What’s Your Hurry?

It’s no secret I spent most of this summer anywhere but here, due to the fact if the island had tumbleweeds they would be blowing up and down Collier Blvd like an old western ghost town. It’s so slow that when I left the shop the other night, I could have skateboarded home in my birthday suit, and no one would have seen me! (That is if I could actually skateboard). 

Before leaving on my assorted off-season sojourns, I attempted to offer an explanation to many folks, including new business owners, as to why the island has been so quiet these past couple of months and the fact it has apparently spread to most of Southwest Florida. The reason, I believe, is we historically and geographically have gone full circle to the way it used to be around here ten years ago. 

The few years after the Covid epidemic the island was way out of the norm - we were swamped with people from September to July - only now it happens to be the “after 2024 season.” 

I could not help but notice this year nearly everybody evacuated the island between Easter and Mother’s Day just like they used to years ago.  

The only other alternate theory I can come up with is it is also a re-election year and there is the possibility everyone is glued to the boob tube watching the current political circus that is taking place in real time. I also noticed (“astute,” by the way, is my middle name!) that many of the islanders that remained after the exodus jumped onto planes, trains, and automobiles to pursue their own vacations anywhere other than here, thus leaving Marco a desolate tropical island located somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico. This included many of my friends who could finally travel abroad and did so this summer. I can personally vouch for the crowds of tourists I saw in Frankfort, Munich, and Spain this past August. My traveling friends conveyed to me it was the same in all major cities in Italy - Venice in particular was crammed packed with tourists from around the world. 

The moment I arrive in Mallorca, I get to experience a place where you put your life on hold or shift into neutral if that is what you desire; everything here is peaceful and non-chaotic. The seafood, beef, and wine are superb and inexpensive. It’s a place where people and things move slowly, and heaven forbid you try to change it. 

I love watching Americans experience European customs for the first time, seeing them lose their minds over the slow or lack of service they perceive they are experiencing. It’s not that way at all. Most Europeans (especially the Spanish) don’t live their lives in sixth gear as we Americans do, and I’d say for them, it’s more like first or second gear (LOW GEAR… THAT’S WHY THEY ARE HEALTHIER AND LIVE LONGER THAN WE DO!)  

So give your server some undeserving looks or worse, some lip, they will shift into reverse and ignore you completely! (The Italians have perfected “ignore you completely” to an art form!) 

Believe me, they noticed you when you sat down at the table; it might take a while before you get a menu or a glass of water or wine, and even longer to place your order. If you’re in a hurry, I suggest a fast food joint Patience is the culture, and everything happens in due time. You see, one is expected to relax and enjoy the dining experience, not wolf it down and run! (run where?) Most of the people around you may be locals sitting with friends or family, and believe me, they are there for the whole evening! You have to beg to get your bill when you want to leave! Turning tables is not a thing here in most restaurants. If you notice it is full of patrons with not one empty table, I suggest you seek another place to dine because no one sitting there is going anyplace soon. 

Just show some respect to the wait staff, relax, and savor the food and the experience. You will find they are professional and efficient and will cater to your every need (respect your server something many of us diners should practice here at home). 

This reminds me of a time while dining on Marco, the hostess rudely told my friends and me to hurry and finish up our desserts and aperitifs because there was another party waiting for our table! Whaaat! And we just dropped hundreds of dollars there! Needless to say, none of us will return to that establishment anytime soon. 

I’m currently jet lagged, a bit cranky and back on the rock and noticed so many businesses are still closed for vacation. I have reopened the shop, still apologizing like I have done for the past thirty years for going on vacation and dealing with the few residents who chose to remain here all summer. I’m still in the easy-going Spanish Beach Bum Mode and nearly every watch or repair coming in the door, the customer wants it yesterday, now or tomorrow. Everyone is in a hurry, and they don’t know why?? 

I’m not keen on rush work. I had to do it in my younger years when I did trade work for other jewelry stores who demanded it, and I despised doing it then. Nothing good comes from rushing tedious and delicate work that requires concentration and skill. Reminds me of a sign I once saw in a welding shop: you can have it GOOD, FAST, OR CHEAP… PICK TWO. 

Good and Cheap (will take time to deliver).Fast and Good (will be more expensive).Fast and Cheap(will not be the best quality).If you want all three, you are seriously dreaming!  

I think I will implement an additional $50 service charge for “ALL RUSH WORK.” Maybe that will change some hearts and minds and slow them down a tad.