The Reverse Course

No one can be certain where the trouble began, but when it ended with a nightmare in the Gulf of Mexico, many friends and neighbors were shocked, but a few who were closer to the newcomers were not surprised. 

The questions after a maritime calamity are always hard and fast, but a when a man from the Midwest who could not swim - and was afraid of the water - becomes the owner of an ocean-going yacht with a million-dollar price tag, a malicious motive soon became the single answer to all of the questions.  

Ronnie was always lucky. He was not an attractive, athletic, or aggressive young man, but his choices in life were almostalways winners. When Ronnie was working a nine-to-five job at a candle factory the wax-melting machine exploded and covered him in hot wax. The boss explained that he was very lucky not to have been badly hurt and allowed him to go home for the day to peel off the wax. On the busy roadway, Ronnie was the subject of many who turned in their cars to stare, as a melted wax figure from a horror movie seemed to be driving a nearby car. After the attention began to strike the candle factory worker as comical, Ronnie pulled into a convenience store, freaked out everyone who was inside, and calmly bought a lottery ticket with his face, hair, and all his clothing covered in candle wax. 

The next day when he was wax-free, Ronnie was lucky again. The lottery ticket was a winner worth several million, and after the convenience store released the surveillance camera footage of the melted candle wax man buying the winning lottery ticket, Ronnie became a paid celebrity in TV commercials for the state lottery. 

Less than a year later, out of nowhere, Ronnie felt lucky again. An investment opportunity came along with something to do with lithium batteries, and Ronnie’s wealth quadrupled almost overnight. When a bleak and freezing winter came to the Detroit suburbs, Ronnie sold his house and moved to the largest of the tropical islands off southwest Florida. 

Ronnie never married and dated only a few times, but after he bought his big house on the water, Ronnie met Ruby at a local restaurant and bar with a busy, happy hour. Even though Ruby was a little rough around the edges and a few years older, Ronnie was smitten. After only a few weeks, the happy couple was inseparable. Shortly before the small wedding, Ruby explained that a pre-nep was insulting and that if Ronnie really loved her, there was no need to worry about money or anything else. 

After a few more weeks, Ruby became irritable and restless.” Why can’t we have a nice boat,” she nagged. “We need a boat so we can venture out like people who live on an island. Boating should be our new way of life!” 

When it was time to go shopping for the boat, Ruby explained that it needed to be big. No one with good boating savvy would go offshore in a small boat, and because Ronnie and his new bride could afford it, they needed a boat that would reflect their new position in the neighborhood and the local boating world. 

Boating was easy, Ruby explained. All of her previous husbands were boat owners and over the years, driving a boat became second nature. Ronnie was unsure, but Ruby was relentless. Eventually, Ruby won the argument - just as she did with the pre-nep - and soon, the newlyweds were out on the water in a brand-new center console. The new 48-footer was indeed quite the boat, and just as Ruby promised, she handled the boat like a real pro. After a few trial runs along the coast, Ruby became restless again. She wanted to go really far out and began teasing Rob about wearing his life jacket. 

“You don’t trust me as your captain,” Ruby pouted. “I can skipper a boat as good as anyone. We don’t need anyone to help or get in the way. I like boating offshore and want it to be private.” 

The first time Ruby cranked up the big engines and ran out beyond the sight of land, Ronnie had a panic attack. Once again, Ruby chided and nagged her new husband about trust and the indignant suggestion of a prenuptial agreement. She then began to playfully promise and tease about why they had chosen a big offshore boat in the first place. 

After Ronnie’s offshore panic episode, Ruby brought rumrunner punch because it would be fun. For the next outing, Ruby began serving cocktails even before the boat was motoring away from the big house and dock. 

Once again, Ruby headed offshore. When land disappeared in the late afternoon, and no other boats were anywhere in sight, the abrupt sound of the big engines falling silent was nothing to worry about until the not-so-new bride placed her hands on her hips and explained that it was time for Ronnie to learn to swim. 

Ronnie was hesitant, and then angry as he stood up to protest, and then shocked when Ruby tackled him like a football player and threw him over the side. The big bottle of rumrunner punch soon followed Ronnie overboard before Ruby fired up the engines and disappeared over the horizon. 

Ronnie was not a very athletic person but he did manage to use the empty rumrunner bottle as a float and dog paddle to a nearby crab trap marker bobbing on the surface. He then realized he was very lucky again when a crab boat came along as a rescue vessel and offered a cell phone to call the police to arrest his gem of a wife.