The Gift of Friendship

When thinking about what to write in this week’s column, I ran across three wonderful ladies the other day at coffee. One of them stopped me and asked whether I was “the young man that wrote in the paper.”  The fact that she referred to me as “the young man” will forever endear her to me.

They had just finished playing tennis on a warm July morning, and were enjoying iced coffees and teas together.  They were from different areas of the country, but were enjoying the company of one another, along with a little cool down period, before making their way home for a shower before taking on the day and the tasks that lay before them.

Simple English Wikipedia describes friendship as the following: “Friendship means familiarity and the liking of each other’s mind.  People who are friends talk to each other and spend time together.  They trust each other and also help one another when they are in trouble or are hurt.  Friends are people that can be looked to and trusted.”  

I think that probably puts it into the simplest of terms. However, I would probably add the fact that one need not always agree with each other. The fact that individuals can disagree, but not dislike one another, is what makes friendships special, in my opinion. More importantly, they should be able to respect each other’s point of view, once again making it all the more special.

That in itself is a very important factor in a friendship. It is especially true in a marriage or relationship, for one must be able to maintain that bond between each other, rather than see it dissolve due to a simple difference of opinion. That is where the bonds of trust and respect for each other play so importantly into what binds us together as friends, especially in the next step of interpersonal relationships and marriages.

In my opinion, “friendship” is one of the greatest gifts that one can bestow upon another. I personally consider those who have bestowed that special honor to another as a wonderful gift that should always be held in the highest of esteem when it is given.  I do choose those whom I call friends as extremely special people in my life, and do everything in my power to respect that gift that has been granted to me.

Now mind you, there are different levels of “friendship,” such as one’s life partner, as an example.  The trust you or I share with that person is extremely “personal,” and compares to no other.  

Some special friendships I’ve shared with persons in my life go back to my early days growing up. Although I might not have seen many of them for a number of years, we do continue to stay in contact. We gather together to share a laugh or two when I do get back up to New Hampshire on occasion. I consider a select group of them wonderful friends, especially many from my college and younger adult years. Many from my firefighting, law enforcement and teaching years have had a significant impact on helping to mold the person I am today.

The last 32 years here on the island, I’ve also been able to acquire a wonderful collection of relationships that have done much to help me continue to grow and mature in life. My professional career required a considerable amount of time traveling, both domestically and internationally, but still allowed me the opportunity to meet so many wonderful folks whom I consider today a part of my extended family and whose friendships today I highly value.

Building trust and respect for one another has been very important to me, as that foundation builds into 

the friendships I value so highly.  I guess that is why I value true friendships as one of the most important aspects of my life.  

Having good friends that surround you can be an important foundation to your outlook on life and your own psychological happiness.  I’m not sure you can actually be happy in life without having friends as a part of who you are, while allowing you to open up and truly understand the value of life and the journey we are on.

As all of us begin to enter that stage of our lives when we start to lose those important to us, as their journey and ours begins to come to a close, we begin to understand the necessity of having those special friendships in our lives and the joy that they bring.  A joy that we could never begin to understand until we have had the courage enough to open ourselves to those friendships that bring us so  much satisfaction in life’s journey.

Value those friendships for the wonderful gifts they are, and also those that have granted that gift to us.