"The Atlas of Extinct Countries” by Gideon Defoe

“The Atlas of Extinct Countries” is a fun romp of a read; a look into the distant – and not so distant – past of nations that tried so very hard to succeed. Obviously, as the name of the book implies, they did not.

Each chapter starts with a “details list”: population, capital, language, currency, cause of death and where the extinct country now resides. Next to that is a map, followed by one to three pages with the fascinating – and oftentimes funny – details on the origin and eventual demise of the countries. The existence of these now lost nations range from BCE (Before Common Era, formerly BC) to 2014. Some lasted months, some years and in the case of the Ottawa Civic Hospital Maternity Ward, just one day. Many were formed when boundaries were redrawn and a chunk of land was overlooked so the residents just declared sovereignty and ruled themselves. There are countries we have heard of like Bavaria, Crimea and the German Democratic Republic (East Germany) but most we have not. Which I guess when you think about it pretty much validates the book. There’s even a brief chapter on anthems and flags at the very end, a product of nation building that Defoe finds quite entertaining as some countries would have a flag designed before any type of charter or constitution.

So many of these long-lost countries sound like the script from a Monty Python movie. There is The Free State of Bottleneck, The Great Republic of Rough and Ready, and my favorite, The Islands of Refreshment whose aim was to “providing refreshment to passing travelers” yet “set up…in the stupidest place possible: an obscure part of the Atlantic where the only passing ships…were inclined to nick stuff rather than pay for it.” Many didn’t have pithy names but their reason for existence is just as bemusing. The Riograndense Republic was formed, and then disbanded, because of beef jerky. Europeans formed the Principality of Elba “like desperate parents sticking an iPad in front of their difficult toddler” to “keep (Napoleon) out of trouble” but instead allowed him to plan an escape. Even Florida had its own foray into independent nation building with The State of Muskogee and The Republic of West Florida. 

Defoe has a sharp wit and dry humor; he sprinkles in lots of historical comments and opinions that allows you to feel like you are in on the joke with him. When describing The Republic of Formosa he says “There was a misplaced hope that the British would step in to protect this plucky new nation against the Japanese invaders. Again, who knows where anyone got that idea, because this is not, very obviously, how the British tend to operate.” There are a lot of footnotes, which can annoy me, but not here. They add flavor to the events being described. 

Not to say that everything is for laughs; many of these defunct countries were truly legitimate. Defoe doesn’t leave out the ugly, brutal actions that caused their birth and death (The Congo Free State is just one example). Defoe points out that “An Atlas of Extinct Countries” doesn’t “gloss over the embarrassing stuff…because these dead nations are so full of schemers, racists and con men that it’s impossible to skip the embarrassing stuff.” Yet Defoe has written a book with witty gravitas (if that is even a term) so you don’t drown in a depressing history lesson on pillaging and massacres.

Is “An Atlas of Extinct Countries” a cheeky message on the impermanence of borders? A poke in the ribs on the folly of men? Either? Both? Or is it just a factual look at what has gone before and what could come again? It’s up to the reader to decide if there is a message in all this or not. The only thing that doesn’t seem to go extinct is the idea that we actually can control the borders we live in, today or tomorrow.