The Art of Aging

Dear Ms. Positive,

You’re just the kind of person I like to hang out with; a woman who acknowledges reality but doesn’t let it hinder her options to live a joy-filled life. You, and others I know like you (see below), are my role models as I see eighty looming in the near future. I’m with you all the way!

I read a lot about the “art of aging” and here are a few tips I’ve gleaned along the way.

1. Embrace aging and cherish the opportunity many don’t have. Perhaps being the daughter of a mother who died at thirty-four and having lost a husband at fifty-three, my perspective is a bit slanted but I feel fortunate to be old. Do I love all aspects of aging? No, of course not, but I feel blessed to still have my feet on the ground. Be proud of your age. You've earned those gray hairs and wrinkles. Don’t be shy about revealing your age. Your positive position on aging will influence others.

2. Hang out with younger people whenever possible. Younger people will give you a fresh perspective and help you remember what it was like to be their age. Feed them, listen to them, ask meaningful questions, and, for Heaven’s sake, don’t tell them about your bad hip unless they ask.

3. Say yes to challenges and new experiences. Whether that means getting out the door and meeting new people, learning to play bridge, or writing a book, don’t be afraid to try new things. Your brain will stay young and your confidence will grow as you accomplish what you set out to do. I find that whenever I venture into the world, I come back energized and refreshed. If this isn’t true for you, consider who you’re hanging out with. Are your colleagues oldsters who constantly complain and choose to live under a cloud?

4. Stay physically and mentally flexible. Although older people are often thought to be rigid, Regina Kopek, clinical psychologist, says, “Older people are not more rigid than younger people. Those are personality traits, not age traits.” I agree. Try not to internalize this common narrative. We must fight against what we’ve heard all of our lives about aging. Keep your body and mind active!

5. Declutter your living space. Your children will thank you and you’ll feel freer and have less anxiety. Are you constantly looking for things? Avoid the stress of lost objects by getting rid of what you no longer use and create an orderly space for what you do.

When I visit one of my oldest (age-wise) friends, a long-time Marco Island resident, Virginia Read, I leave with a bounce to my step. She challenges me to keep moving forward, to live with exuberance, and to enjoy nature. Virginia still works in her massive and beloved yard (acreage really) two hours a week: “When the gardener is there to pick me up in case I fall.” She has an informed opinion on world issues and hometown ones alike. She’s well into her 90’s but she keeps me young - I hope I do the same for her!

Now, Ms. Positive, I hope these suggestions and vignettes give you some ideas and motivation to stay on the path to positive aging.