Simplicity

The more complex the problem, the simpler the solution. The chemo port started coming through my skin recently; I had a new one put in so the old one wouldn't pop out like the scene in "Alien."  The radiologist looked at it quickly, "I'll cut the old one out, re-thread a new catheter into the carotid, and create a pouch under the skin right below the other one, simple."  He made it sound so easy I thought about doing it myself at home. Then I remembered most of my home improvement projects take three trips to Home Depot and usually only get half completed. Skilled people make complex tasks look simple, unlike our excuses for things we don’t like. Especially when we try to throw a lot of words at things to tackle tough talking points. In college, an English professor gave us an essay assignment called “What the world needs now ...” Even though the deep thinkers wrote essays like “Man’s Inhumanity to Man,” mine was “The World Needs a Better Snow Tire.” I got an A, and the intellectuals got low Bs. The lesson was keep it simple. 

I’ve been in tons of depositions, so opposing attorneys hate me. "How many times have you been deposed?" "About 30 times, maybe."  "S—t."  To be fair, I was trained by three elementary school students - “How was your day today?” “Good”; “Do you like your teacher?” “No.”; “What do you want for dinner?” “Cheetos.” Delivering bad news fits the bill also. When I deliver bad news, my MO is the fewer the words the better. Diane, however, stuffs bad news with gobs of tiny little lies like she did recently when declining a party invitation…  “We’ll be solving world hunger during the day, so we may be a little late getting back from Haiti; oh, and Pete had blood work this week ....” 

People ask me all the time, "How are you doing?"  My response is always, "I'm vertical." It's simple, it's true, and I like it, especially since a lot of good people aren't vertical anymore. Late in life, my father would sit by the front window and watch the birds all day. I used to think he should be more active, like going for a walk or reading a book. But to his credit, he didn't get riled up about politics or what color the neighbor was painting the house. The only things that mattered to him were the cardinals and chickadees. In reality he was doing what he wanted and did so peacefully. Clearly, we're all too busy scurrying around, minding other people's business, while not focused on our own. I'm taking the opposite approach nowadays. Each day, I'm thinking less is more and the real answers to the universe are right out there on the bird feeder. Keep it simple. Slainte.