Seriously Folks?

Another way busy season on the island has come and gone - but not completely! It was a love/hate experience for me, and who but yours truly would complain about being too busy? I’m so tired.

Many of you who follow my column know I’m a “tell it like it is kind of guy” with a brutally honest attitude that can rub some folks the wrong way if they don’t know me, and especially when they enter my web for the first time. That being said, and me being in the jewelry business for what seems like a century or so, I know a thing or two about jewelry and the many facets of what makes the industry tick. So, in a nutshell, when I am challenged by someone on a jewelry subject I more than just know about, and I have assessed the fact that they have absolutely no clue about it, after politely explaining the fact due to experience and know-how for a lengthy period of time, I’m then told “well that’s just your opinion!” 

This twit thinks I can melt a bunch of small diamonds to make one large one. It’s not freakin’ possible…just my opinion? Button pushed. I lose it!

The scenarios are unlimited - a simple ring or watch strap sizing or adjustment has several factors to be considered: The weather…if it hot and humid and Madame just got finished playing a round of golf or two sets of tennis, her fingers are going to be swollen - not a good time to size one’s finger. One’s diet…one can overdo it with fried and salty foods the night before, the next day our fingers will swell (obviously a rare chilly day on Marco is also not a very good day to size one’s ring). Medical reasons…certain meds can induce swollen digits. Needless to say, I know a swollen finger when I see one, but sadly my staff is sometimes not always so astute. The problem is when Madame returns days later to pick up the newly sized ring it, does not even come close to fitting properly and my son or I have to redo it. This is not cost efficient - in fact, I lose money (not a good button of mine to push). So, when I compute all the factors in my head and add the fact I have sized probably forty or fifty thousand rings in my lifetime and suggest what a person’s spot on perfect size should be and then I’m told to do it a size they feel is right and it winds up being wrong…I try not to lose it.

I have sized fingers that have been broken, mangled, reattached, wracked with arthritis or had the finger’s bone removed (that was like putting a ring on a worm!) I even sized a ring for a professional basketball player that was twice the size of my thumb - a size twenty-three, I believe it was. I had to use a piece of copper tubing because my largest ring sizing stick only went to size fifteen.

I recently solved the problem of losing money when my size assessment is questioned and the customer insists on sizing it the way they want. I say, “Fine suit yourself, if you’re wrong and I have to do it over there will be an additional charge, please sign here that you agree with that.” I’m happy to say my redo’s have significantly been reduced. 

Anklets are a touchy fit especially for a lady who has never worn one – it should hang slightly below the ball of the ankle. Yet some ladies insist it’s “too loose” so the first time they hit the gas or brake on the car with a snug anklet…surprise, it breaks. 

Another factor most folks don’t comprehend when it comes to jewelry is a phenomenon called simple gravity. Rings, bracelets, and pendants are affected by this fact of science. If a top-heavy ring or bracelet is not sized properly to the finger or wrist the jewelry will twirl to the right or left and surely wind-up upside down for always and forever. A poorly designed pendant or neck piece, no matter the cost, will not hang properly if gravity is not considered during the design process, and I will point that out to folks when they come in with their designs that are just not practical. Some won’t take constructive criticism and will go elsewhere to get it done their way, and guess who they come back to when their special and improbable gravity defying design is finished at great cost and fails miserably when worn!  SERIOUSLY FOLKS?