Reflecting on the Value of Time

All of us share one very valuable item in our lives. The value of it is the same, no matter our net worth, the size of the house we live in, the cost of the vehicles we drive, or what we do for a living. That one entity we all possess and is so valuable is “time.”

It’s been 56 years since I saw my dad for the last time, before he passed away in November of 1966. I had just turned 17 and he had just turned 45. It’s been 33 years since 1989, when my mother went to be with him. I sure am glad that I had the opportunity to bring her and my brother Bill and his beautiful little daughter here in the late ‘80s. Bill is gone, too; we lost him in 2020.

I couldn’t help but think about that this weekend, while I reflected on my life and the lives of several of my close friends who have recently passed. I saw Harry last July 30, when we met at another fraternity brother’s place on the lake in New Hampshire. Yes, we all sat around the fire that day and told each other how much we need to come together more often. The 46 years since I saw him last really went by fast, but I’ll cherish that few minutes we had a year ago. For no matter how much I’d like to see him again, it is not possible. That time ran out 30 days ago.

Then last week, another great friend, who I had the privilege to walk with on our joint journey in life, passed away all too suddenly. Quentin would laugh about some of my adventures, as I did of his. I almost got him on my motorcycle once, as he was always in awe of the big Harley. What was even funnier was that he thought that one day he would get me on his surfboard. I learned an awful lot from Quentin and will miss him terribly, but I will cherish the few years I knew him.

Now, I often think about how we spend our time and what we accomplish with it. I’ve come to realize that who we spend our time with has become one of the greatest challenges we face in our hectic lives. We must use our time carefully and not waste opportunities. 

There are only 24 hours in the day, which is usually divided between work, sleep and eating. It would be nice if someone else could accomplish the tedious tasks we have to do during those 24 hours, so we could spend them with the people who mean so much to us. But I know that is not possible, for no one can live our lives for us and we must take responsibility for that clock that keeps ticking.

In living our lives, one of the most important factors involves personal relationships with others. Our families, spouses or significant others, friends and acquaintances seem to suffer the most as we attempt to squeeze them into that 24-hour period. Or perhaps it is more likely that on occasion they are squeezed out due to our lack of time.

Often, we hear someone complain about how they wished that they had spent more time with a person who has passed, and who meant so much to them. I would have to plead guilty to that, as I’ve said it more times than I care to share.

A disturbing statistic from the 2020 U.S. Census shows 19 million children live in a single parent household. This places an inordinate amount of pressure on one caregiver to provide for their sons and daughters. Single parents face the challenge of making a living to provide for their family, which requires sacrificing quality time with their children.

But even the picture-perfect family unit struggles with the allocation of time. In many cases, they find themselves torn between the many responsibilities from work and home life and lose sight of what is important. 

The battle to spend our time wisely and consider our own personal needs is one that is constantly raging within us. Taking time for ourselves, and not just concentrating on other pursuits, is very important if we are to maintain a balanced life.

I am always amazed to see so many individuals in our community giving back to those in need or getting involved in other endeavors for the benefit of others. They spend their time wisely and find it therapeutic to involve themselves in these wonderful efforts. As they seek to use their time judiciously, they spend it in a way that benefits not only themselves, but the public as well.

One of my all-time favorite movies was the “Bucket List,” starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The movie was about two men from different backgrounds contemplating issues of who they are and what they had accomplished in their lives. It was a moving and entertaining reflection on the importance of using our time wisely. Although the film pushed the envelope a bit, the message was to take the opportunity in life to do what’s needed to accomplish what you want and have no regrets.

I hope we all think a little more about the time we have here and use it wisely, for with every moment that passes, it is slipping away. Don’t let the time come when you regret not picking up the phone and calling a friend from the past or jumping into the car and taking that trip you always wanted to. Do it for yourself, do it for those you love and maybe think about making up your own “Bucket List” and setting out on the adventure of a lifetime.