People Really Do That?

Those of you who have followed my columns these many years (at least 22 years if I’m correct), my subject matter isn’t always about jewelry - it can also be about the people who shop, purchase and really love jewelry to the point of being psychotic. 

The sources of my subject matter are generated by actual experiences with folks in my many years in the jewelry business. That would be 28 years here on Marco Island Time or as I like to put it, “Mayberry with Sand”, along with my 22 years experience “up north” in Boston.

I have to admit the most peculiar ones I have ever experienced were right here in “Paradise.” 

Pray tell you say?

My first experience was when I was very inexperienced with the ways of the public and human nature. At the age of twenty-three I proudly opened my first retail jewelry shop in the upscale Yankee town of Marblehead in Massachusetts, a quaint but exclusive Atlantic seaside sailing and boating village. 

To put it bluntly, when I opened many of the town folk were well to do, either up and coming yuppies or old Yankee money living in sprawling early 1900s waterfront mansions with huge yachts complete with captains and crews, servants and butlers...the whole nine yards! 

Money everywhere, how could I not succeed? That’s another sad story I wrote about last year.

My first malcontent was a sweet little old lady I will call Mrs. Lipshitz. She obviously loved jewelry - I later discovered she only wanted to “borrow it” for the weekend without paying a penny for any of it.

This devious lady would “purchase” several expensive pieces on Saturday and promptly return them for a variety of reasons the second I opened my door on Monday morning, obviously before I could deposit her check. 

Once bitten twice shy, I shoulda figured her game out. She would wear my expensive jewelry for a special weekend affair and return it Monday. I was young and stupid, and she even did to me a second time. 

Oh, but I was ready for her the next time.

That time Mrs. Lipshitz made a fatal purchasing mistake. She decided to “borrow” a very expensive pair of diamond earrings and sure enough there she was bright and early on the following Monday morning. “I’m so sorry Mrs. Lipshitz. Massachusetts law states you cannot return jewelry that pierces the body and that includes these diamond earrings!”

The color drained from her face and I thought she was going to faint. She stammered and pleaded and told me her husband would never allow her to spend that much money on jewelry. I let her twist in the wind for a bit - I’m not a monster - but she had to be taught a lesson and I told her I can only refund the cost of the diamonds, not the platinum earrings she wore in her ears this weekend. I took back the earrings and she reluctantly agreed to write another check for a considerably smaller amount and that was the last I saw of Mrs. Lipshitz.

Fast forward ten years later to Marco Island where I was placed in a similar situation by one of Marco’s élites (who I will not mention) who pulled the same game with an expensive pair of chandelier diamond earrings she wore for an extravagant Marco social affair. Returning them a few days later saying they “didn’t hang right!” (By the way, the same law about pierced jewelry is in Florida).

My reply was… “That’s funny, I saw your close-up picture on the front page of the local newspaper attending the weekend’s affair. You seemed to be enjoying them then and they looked okay to me!”

I refunded her money in full to prevent her from badmouthing me all over the island. 

Living and still not learning.

The latest drama was precious. A customer purchased and wore one of my famous Marco Bracelets for many years and came in wanting a full refund because she and her husband were moving to California and now the bracelet has no meaning or worth to her. Okay, I don’t resell used, worn or beat up jewelry and this bracelet has been through the mill. I politely said no, our return policy is in plain view and a full refund on something purchased over ten years ago is a bit ridiculous don’t you think!

That got me thinking…while living in Boston, what luck would I have trying to return - for a full refund - all my winter sporting gear, such as my used hockey and ski equipment on the excuse I was moving to Florida!