November Eve

The first Halloween in high school began as one of the most exciting evenings ever, but when the trip into town for trick or treat conjured a fast-track trip to the emergency room, the fun, excitement, and a rite of passage was over almost before it started. 

Out in the backwoods and on top of the Cumberland Mountains of east Tennessee, trick or treating was unheard of because the houses and farms were too far apart. Many of the kids, however, were searching for more tricks than treats.  

The truly adventurous, mischievous, and popular kids at high school were not into trick-or-treating at all. They were all about devil’s night mischief and the boisterous stories that would ultimately spring up after other popular kids' houses became the carefully selected targets of midnight antics on Halloween.  

The most beautiful girls in high school were at the top of the list for the toilet paper treatment. The popular football boys who were the stars of the Friday night lights were always ready to show their affection and devotion by hurling roll after roll of streaming toilet paper high into the oak, maple, and hickory trees at the homes of the prettiest girls in school. 

The football boys always had a truckload of toilet paper to decorate the trees on which it would hang until the November wind and rain came to wash it away. When any non-football or basketball player was included and asked to join the devil’s night and the coming-of-age ritual, the honor of inclusion to the secret society of toilet paper rollers was an elevation in popularity unsurpassed. 

When a particular and very young Beach Boy rode into town and joined the football group behind the local Dairy Queen, he was wearing a wolfman Halloween costume. This mistaken identity quickly disappeared into the Dairy Queen dumpster after the star quarterback and the other most popular boys in high school started laughing. Everyone else was wearing black sweaters and trousers - just like commandoes in a war movie.  

With the childish costume safely in the trash, it was time for serious business. The star quarterback was driving his dad’s Ford pickup, and in the back were a hundred rolls of toilet paper that had magically disappeared from several establishments over the summer. 

With the quarterback whispering and everyone else in a huddle between the backdoor of the Dairy Queen and the dumpster, the image of a top-secret and military-style operation was complete. 

Ginger Crabtree was easily one of the most beautiful and popular girls at school, and her dad was almost everyone’s dentist. Ginger’s house was perfect because she had two younger sisters who were also cheerleaders, gorgeous, and extremely popular in church and school. The dentist’s house was also perfect for Halloweenbecause of the many large trees in the front and back of the large two-story home. Also perfect was the fact that the dentist was a hobby farmer and kept cows on either side of the house in pastures with a fence. There were no neighbors within a football field on either side of Ginger’s yard and house - only cows behind the electric barbed wire fence. 

The first problem with the night was the full moon. The moonlight, whenever the sky was clear, was very bright, and the bulky and easily recognizable football players’ identities would not be safe. When the scudding overcast covered the witch’s moon, however, the time for toilet papering Ginger and her sister’s very large trees would be perfect. 

When the moon was shining bright, the quarterback handed out the toilet paper and whispered instructions. The toilet paper was to fly only when the moon was behind the clouds. If the moon came out, everyone was to hit the dirt and lie down on the ground. When the last roll flew, and the trees were hanging with toilet paper that would take at least until Thanksgiving to disappear, one of the football heroes was to brave the steps and the porch of the house and ring the doorbell. 

When the last roll flew, however, the clouds parted just as the assigned commando was creeping toward the intimidating front door. When the full moon came out from behind the clouds, all of the mischief-makers were caught and frozen in place by the stark moonlight. When the very loud doorbell rang with the ghostly moonlight streaming, all of the football players and the Marco Beach Boy-to-be began running in different directions. The pickup truck that was the getaway vehicle was waiting down the road and alongside the dentist’s cow pasture. After the doorbell rang the alarm, the lights in the dentist’s home began to shine in the upstairs windows shortly before the very bright porch light came on. 

This was the moment when all of the football players flew toward the getaway pickup truck. The Marco Beach Boy-to-be, however, ran straight into the cow-pasture barbwire fence that was sizzling with electricity. The cloud that covered the moon when the Beach Boy was running was hiding the fence completely, but after the cloud passed and the football players were driving away in the truck, the Beach Boy caught in the electric barbed wire fence would not be free of deep scratches and electricity until the dentist came out in his pajamas. 

Entrapment in rusty barbed wire fence is a terrible experience. Being caught and entangled in rusting barbed wire that is pulsing with electricity is much worse, but riding to the emergency room for stitches and a tetanus shot with the most popular dentist and his three giggling daughters in the backseat of the girl’s family car was a Halloween and a November Eve never to be forgotten.