My Escape to the 49th State

It was perfect timing. My wife planned a cruise for late July over nine months ago - that to me is a good and bad thing. Number one… I hate cruise ships (I had two really bad cruise experiences). I am in no way a “cruiser” and swore I would never again step foot on one! So, months ago when my wife finally informed me about the trip she planned for us, I told her and her friends to have a nice time, don’t forget to send me a postcard!

My prior bad news cruise experiences had shown me “cruising” involves being stuck on a boat with thousands of people you soon find out you don’t like one bit and then you are crammed in a larger boat that becomes smaller very quickly. This involves your group waiting in line for everything, including the restroom. I don’t enjoy being treated like cattle and especially being told when you can or cannot dine or imbibe. I’m not trying to act like “The Entitled” I constantly complain about, I just don’t like being constricted and intentionally contained. Just the thought of being once again on a cruise ship would be my worst nightmare come true, then to add insult to injury, I’m stuck with these people for a week or more with no escape unless you climb a rail and jump overboard. I like peace, quiet, serenity, and most of all… solitude. All of those things together are just a very rare thing on a cruise ship. So why in the name of Hades would I want to subject myself to a two-week cruise???? I was told to think about it and like most husbands I do what I’m told… oh honey, I thought about it… it’s still NO!

In the end, like with most of us married folk, she was relentless and wore me down.

On one good note, I could avoid the constant heat wave here in Southwest Florida, and most of the country for that matter, plus business in the summer is slow. Second note, the trip was already paid in full. Third and final point, it was a smaller Viking Cruise Ship with an open bar package…okay, all aboard and bon voyage. When do we shove off?

My summer escape trip from the heat destination could not have been further away unless I went to the North Pole or the continent of Antarctica. My wife and four of our friends decided on an Alaskan Viking cruise. 

Our Alaskan sojourn that began in Anchorage evolved into a road trip to Denali State Park two hundred and sixty -five miles north. To my complete surprise the three days we were there it was 80+ degrees sunny with cloudless skies and we showed up dressed like we were expecting to go on an Arctic one-hundred-mile Iditarod dog sled race. Alaska is supposed to be cold right? There I am looking like an L.L. Bean centerfold, one packed bathing suit, no shorts! 

On a good note, we had a perfect view of Mount Denali (aka Mount McKinley) and the entire mountain range. The scenery was breathtaking. We each enjoyed all kinds of different activities. We were planning several hikes; I refused to go on after one mountain hike too many that confirmed what I already knew at age seventy - “hiking is a long up and downhill walk that sucks.” I took to the ATV four-wheeling excursion, wife went horseback riding, and some of our friends went white water rafting. One of our friends chartered a helicopter ride to a glacier then drove a dog sled! I went salmon fishing with a friend and caught (lost two!) four nice-sized silver salmon.

It was cool that everyone did their own thing and later in the day, we always met up for happy hour and dinner, enjoying the freshest Alaskan seafood I ever had. It was a great time to exchange photos and talk about our day’s mind-blowing experiences. One experience I will never forget was when I was four-wheeling along an ancient riverbed - I swear I could sense, even smell the presence of gold in the river. We stopped there for a breather, where our guide mentioned to me that several flakes and even a few nuggets have been found here in the river over the years he’s been to this location. See, I knew it! I poked around, turning over rocks and such, but not enough time, so no gold found; just this fool looking for gold under rocks.

We needed to head back to Anchorage - we had a boat to catch where we sailed south along the Alaskan coast. Our port of calls (listen to me, I’m now even talking like a cruiser!) were in towns and cities I hardly heard of such as Sitka, Skagway, Ketchikan, and Kodiak to name a few. One thing stood out at every port…Jewelry stores! I never saw so many jewelry stores side by side except on the Ponte Vecchio in Florence, Italy. Juneau alone, I lost count after seventeen of them. Diamonds and Tanzanites…  Ice Ice Blues, baby!

The Hubbard Glacier will be frozen in my memory; it was a sight to behold when we experienced one of the largest calving* like two football fields wide! (*When a part of the glacier breaks away and crashes into the ocean, the sound is unforgettable) . The crew on the tour boat even made Glacier Margareta’s from the ice pulled from the bay. The chunk of glacial ice used for the cocktails was named “Baby Hubbard.”

I could go on and on for the fear of boring you to tears. One thing I learned - living in rugged Alaska is not for the faint-hearted. Year-rounders in Denali and other remote areas have an almost non-existent spring or fall and an extremely short summer. Many do not have running water, use outhouses (everything liquid, including pipes, freeze solid), and have no electricity unless you are lucky enough to own a generator. There are no Publix or Winn-Dixie here folks; they live off the land, gathering berries, mushrooms, hunting deer and caribou or fishing when they can to survive. And forget about Uber! Most of us here would say you would have to be nuts to live there. The woman who owned the stables for horseback riding not only lives that way but also built her own log cabin with only her two hands; she’s hoping to complete her finished flooring this summer. You cannot help but admire these stouthearted souls; she is one tough Denali Damsel! 

All in all, I could not file a single complaint with the Viking Cruise Ship and its staff of seasoned professionals. The ship was immaculate and there was never a line getting off or on the ship or accessing food and beverages of all kinds any time of the day!  Most of all, to my surprise, my fellow passengers were nice! I even ran into some customers who were in the shop a month ago. I enjoyed it so much we are planning a Mediterranean cruise from Italy to Greece next summer. I learned a simple lesson - you don’t just go on any cruise, it’s with whom and how you cruise that makes all the difference.

Time is short; don’t just live…live well.