Mr. Paws Watches Christmas

Mr. Paws opened his eyes and looked around. Then he stretched. The catnap was over and it was time to find out what was going on. The setting sun in the window was offering information. Whenever the days became shorter, and sunset disappeared around the corner, the uptights and the uprights began to behave differently. This year was no exception and the hustle and bustle was already underway. 

The behavior of the humans was always strange, but when the days became shorter, the odd creatures that walked on two legs - instead of stalking on four - were proving to be frustrating. Most of the year, the uptights and uprights rushed around in a foreseeable pattern, but the upcoming end of the year was always interesting to watch.

Normally the uptights and u-rights - when they were not following explicit and direct instructions on food, water, treats, litter, and snuggling - were continuously focusing on the little rectangular boxes that took up most of their lives.

The uptights and uprights did not have nine lives of resilient feline bliss; they only had one, and although most of their ridiculously long waking hours was an ongoing occupation with stress, the end of the year with the special tree was different. When the early sunsets came, it was always entertaining to jump to an elevated perch and watch everything. 

The first part of the ritual always came from the garage. This is where many of the uptights and uprights kept their rolling conveyances with wheels, but because this was a Beach Boy and Girl house, the conveyances were outdoors. This was because the garage was full of uptight and upright stuff that really did not serve any foreseeable function.

When the first part of the entertainment came into the house, it was a mystery in a box, but soon a big tree began to emerge, and not surprisingly, it was soon upright. Next came other boxes with more unusual oddities. Then, as the oddities with strings and bulbs began to glow - almost like the screens on the little rectangular boxes - other curios and jumbles began to assemble on the enticing branches.

Some of the jumbles that were rapidly finding a place on the tree began to resemble the nests made by the delicious flying creatures. The fascinating creatures with feathers that were beyond irresistible and fun to bite. Other curious objects began to appear as dangling temptations…certainly within reach…gently swaying …beckoning…and forever waiting for a closer inspection. Inspections that would take place when the uptights and uprights were sleeping, loudly purring, and oblivious to all nocturnal feline activity. 

After the glowing tree began to occupy an obvious place of honor, the behavior of the uptights and uprights began to change again. They began to speak to each other. The little boxes of ongoing focus might be nearby, but when the tree with décor was upright and glowing, wonderful sounds began to emerge that were captivating and soothing. When the joyful sound was playing, and the uprights began to cry out, and join in, most of what was uptight began to melt away. This was when the humans began to shine like the mysterious tree from the box. They began to show a radiance like the bulbs that were glowing.

Whenever the special tree was in place, during the days that were short, there were other observations that no feline could fail to ignore. This was when strangers came to the house. It was clear the newcomers came to observe the glowing tree with all the temptations, but there was something more. There were smaller versions of the humans that came into the house, but the smaller ones were not obsessed with little rectangular boxes, because they were focusing on each other. The little ones were not slaves to the small boxes or the uptight stress. This was because they were not yet fully upright and still understood how to stalk about on all fours. The little ones were also finding the temptations of the glowing tree to be overwhelming, but they were not clever enough to wait until the larger ones were sleeping. This obvious fault would always lead to an abrupt outbreak of outrageous caterwauling where the only sensible refuge for a feline was under the bed.

On one of the unforgettable short days, when the tree was glowing and the little ones were touching everything and stalking each other, another intruder came into the house in the form of one of the others. The others smell. The others have wagging tails. The unmistakable detection of the others always happens in seconds. The others arrive drooling, panting, and licking everything. Traditionally, the others most often arrive with tethers around their necks. Ridiculous and restrictive tethers that no feline could ever tolerate.

On the fateful day of the short season, which can never truly escape memory, the small humans were down on all fours and stalking one another around the glowing tree. The uprights were throwing back their heads, showing their teeth, and trying to appear as if they were not uptight. This was when one of the others came into the house without a tether.

During the seconds it took for the primal instincts to reach across the room and mutual eye contact was downloading more information than any little glowing box could ever produce, the inevitable episode began with the speed of a lightning strike. Whenever dealing with one of the others, the rules have always been the same: flight or fight. When the other came bolting across the room, the normal avenue of escape was the path under the bed - but the path was blocked - by an uptight upright who did not want the sleeping chamber scrutinized. The only other sensible hiding place was at the top of the glowing tree. When the tree with the glowing décor and jumbles came down, it was with a terrible crash but it was of no importance to the only feline member of the Beach Boy and Girl household.

After a few frantic moments, which included barking and stand-your-ground hissing and spitting and raising of fur, the uprights suddenly became very uptight, as the other was led away in disgrace and the bedroom door was once again open.

Later, when the joyful sound was once again playing and the uptights were relaxed as they possibly could be…Mr. Paws opened his eyes and looked around. Then he stretched. The catnap was over and it was time to get up and see what was going on.