Make a Case for Love

Dear NYV,

You’re right about one thing, February puts love front and center—usually wrapped in red bows, chocolates, and expectations. Frankly, I don’t have much of an opinion about the day one way or another.

However, I do have an opinion about the premise that real love is quieter and far more enduring than a single day on the calendar. I also believe love shows up in many forms. It’s how you speak to yourself when you’ve made a mistake, it’s the patience you extend to a spouse, a friend, or a sibling, it’s the kindness you offer a stranger.

You definitely didn’t say this, but other people frequently ask, “I want more love in my life. How do I make this happen?” Often, what they’re really longing for is connection, acceptance, or peace. These aspects of life don’t begin with another person; they come from within.

Could you possibly be this person? The one who is longing for more connection, etc.? If it is, ask yourself, “Where can I practice love a little more gently right now?”

Perhaps you need to forgive yourself for not being perfect. Maybe it’s learning to listen instead of fixing. Maybe it’s letting go of a grudge that’s grown heavy with time.

Love isn’t something we fall into once. It’s a daily practice—like breathing, like choosing again and again to show up with an open heart.

M. Scott Peck, psychiatrist and author, emphasizes that love is an intentional action, not just a feeling. He writes, “Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” Do you believe this?

This month, instead of asking, “What’s this love crap all about?” Try asking, “How can I BE love today?”

Your answer may change everything.