Knowing When to Quit

Dear Quitting Time,

“Maybe” is how I’d answer your signature question. What are your options if you decide to quit? What are the possible outcomes if you speak honestly with your boss? Is not “being a quitter” more important to you than balance in your life? 

According to experts, quitting anything important (relationship, job, habit) is one of the hardest things we can do, and we often stick around longer than we should. 

Annie Duke, professional poker player and author of Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away, writes, “We’ve sunk costs and resources into the situation we don’t want to lose. There’s endowment, which is when we value something like a job or an idea more highly than one we don’t possess. And there’s status-quo bias, when we feel an aversion to the possible loss or regret from switching more keenly than the discomfort of the current situation.”

Notice how even our language tends to reinforce us staying in whatever circumstances we’re currently experiencing. We use terms like “stick with it” and “hang in there.” Quitting is frequently associated with a lack of willpower. 

From your email, it sounds like you’re experiencing the hard and scary part of considering quitting. Should you decide to quit, you might find that the act leads to growth and opportunity. You’ve already determined that, if your current status of overwork doesn’t change, you’ll quit. That’s a powerful first step toward righting the ship that’s your life. Now, I’d suggest you make a concrete plan and set deadlines.

For example, when will you address this situation with your boss? What specific changes need to be made for you to feel balanced again? If these changes don’t come about (be sure you’re not the one who is blocking the change), when will you quit? How will you research future job possibilities? You probably can add several other goals to this list. Be specific and attach dates.

Duke suggests hiring a Quitting Coach or Life Coach to help you move through the process of change. A coach will hold you accountable to your plan and deadlines. He or she will also help you affirm whatever decision you make and ask you questions to help you move forward.

It’s easy to let these circumstances drag on and on. Remember that life is short, and you’ve determined that now is the time for change.