It’s Okay to Be You

Dear Free To Be Me,

In the book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford asserts that as children our personalities are like a mansion with many rooms. Unfortunately, as we get older, we choose to shut down different parts of ourselves, closing off the rooms that either we or others deem as “not appropriate.”

My experience as a young person was similar to yours. Adults sometimes commented that I was too loud or that I got too excited. In elementary school, “talks too much” frequently showed up on my otherwise good report cards (I’m sure I deserved that one).

But, like you, I resisted shutting down this aspect of my personality. In fact, at seventy-eight, I’m still louder at times than some would like me to be and more enthusiastic than might normally be called for. (I also have two grown daughters and a few granddaughters who are frequently considered too loud.) But that’s ok! I’m telling you this because I want to encourage you to continue to be yourself. 

Taylor Swift is another, MUCH more famous example. The pundits believe that her Eras Tour offered a variety of ways to present aspects of identity. Some think that one reason Swift is so popular is because she's true to herself. In other words, she doesn’t bow to what others, especially the patriarchy, are telling her to do or be. In fact, the song “Look What You Made Me Do” expresses the notion of revenge and rebirth in order to become a smarter, stronger person.

I believe that the tricky part of being true to your exuberant self is knowing when you’ve crossed the line into being just plain annoying to the majority of people. My advice is to listen to your intuition and be respectful. Otherwise, let your light shine on!