How to Make Friends at Any Age

Dear Coach,

Earlier in my life, I had an abundance of friends. I mostly met these people through work and my children’s activities. Now that I’m older and retired, I’m finding that friend making is more challenging.

Do you have suggestions on how older folks, like me, can find friends? 

Signed,

Looking for connection

Dear Looking,

As a motherless daughter and only child, friends have always played an extremely important role in my life so I can truly empathize with your need for this special relationship.

When I moved to Marco Island nearly eight years ago, I left behind an abundance of friends - four of whom were like sisters. It was heart-wrenching. I knew no one on the island. However, I did belong to PEO, a women’s organization with chapters around the country and I was able to tap into the local group. This is where I found women who became my best friends. Later, I made more friends through Marco Island Newcomers, Democratic Women’s Club of Marco Island, Marco Island Writers, and Wesley United Methodist Church. Once again, my life is rich with friends.

If you’re not interested in engaging with similar organizations, here are some other suggestions on where to find people with whom you may become friends.

Volunteer. Life Coach, Jaime Kulaga, Ph.D. writes, "When you volunteer, you are around people with a similar mission and value system which is always a great foundation for a friendship.” In and around Marco Island, you can volunteer at Our Daily Bread Food Pantry, join a local beach cleanup group, serve at the Marco Island Historical Museum, or teach/mentor at the local schools or Mother’s Day Out. These are but a few of the many volunteer opportunities!

Take a class. Once again, a class will expose you to like-minded people. Consider pickleball, yoga, or art (the Marco Island Center for the Arts is a gold mine of opportunities).

Join a club. I mentioned Marco Island Newcomers but there is also the Marco Island Woman’s Club, Marco Island Men’s Club, Marco Island Shell Club and Calusa Garden Club. The list is long. Check elsewhere in this newspaper for additional ideas.

Share your gifts. If you’re an actor/actress there are several performance opportunities like The Marco Players. Likewise with music or building skills. Join a choir or lend a hand to the local Habitat For Humanity.

These are some of the many ways you can meet people and make friends. I do want to reinforce, however, that true friendship takes effort. An acquaintance is someone you see once a month at the club you join. A friend is someone you engage with regularly, care deeply about, and show-up for when they are in need. 

“The only way to have a friend is to be one." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mershon Niesner is a Certified Life Coach and author of “Mom’s Gone, Now What? Ten Steps to Help Daughters Move Forward After Mother Loss” which is available on Amazon; also, locally at Sunshine Booksellers and Keep In Touch. For more information visit www.mershonniesner.com. Email your coaching questions to askcoachmershon@gmail.com. Your identity will be kept strictly confidential.