Hold Steady

When talking to my Democrat friends these days, I get a general sense of helplessness and hopelessness about where the country is heading. (It’s the opposite reaction that I get from my friends who support President Trump, by the way, who think virtually everything is going swimmingly. Yes, I have those friends, too).

I understand how it can feel to watch principles you believe firmly in – like justice, civility, transparency, the rule of law, compassion, courage, and even competence – get flouted at so many turns by so many elected and appointed officials. It’s easy to lose faith in the system because the system itself, for decades, is fundamentally flawed and rigged to protect and reward the powerful at the expense of the masses. It’s getting worse, not better, in my opinion.

But there are things we can all do to regain our agency and sense of control, even as things can feel out of control, chaotic.

One friend of mine here in Marco told me that one of his New Year's resolutions is to do something he’s never really done before: regularly write to his elected members of Congress to express his opinion. He told me he’s been pleasantly surprised that he’s gotten any responses, let alone the thoughtful replies he’s received. He feels heard.

People sometimes ask me what I do to stay sane amidst the chaos and find a way to help make things better. For me, protesting isn’t my bag. It feels increasingly reactive and performative these days, more designed to incite and ridicule the “other” and drive clickbait than affect real change. But I understand both its appeal and its impact, and I’m glad people do. I just wish our modern-day protesting had more civility and control, as I’ve noted before.

I choose to use this column to express my opinions, hopefully in a constructive and respectful way, but it’s honestly hard to tell if it really has any meaningful and lasting impact once a new edition of the Coastal Breeze News displaces my column from the prior week. People move on fast these days.

All of this is why I was struck by a recent Substack column by Olivia Troye, Vice President Pence’s former national security advisor, who resigned in bitter terms from the first Trump Administration after speaking out about the administration’s early handling of the COVID pandemic.

Titled “Year Two: When the Shock Wears Off,” she starts:

“The shock has worn off. The chaos feels familiar. The headlines blur together. And the most dangerous temptation sets in – not panic, but quiet adaptation. The feeling that this is simply how things are now, and the best we can do is get through it.”

In other words, that helplessness my friends describe.

Her advice, however, is what I found appealing. In sum, she argues for steadiness.

“Most resistance does not look like protest footage or dramatic speeches. It looks like competence. It looks like continuity. It looks like people deciding that even if they must adapt outwardly, they will not surrender inwardly.

Teachers keep classrooms honest.
Journalists keep documenting, even when it’s harder.
Lawyers keep defending the process, even when outcomes feel uncertain.
Artists and musicians keep memories alive.
Neighbors keep feeding neighbors.
Parents keep teaching kids how to think, not what to chant.”

In the end, we’re all to blame for where we are now and how we got here, and no one savior is going to swoop in to save us all and fix everything.

It’s up to each of us, every day, doing the hard work of learning the real truth in a world filled with misinformation and lies, and speak that truth with both force and respect.

“What carries societies through periods like this is not outrage,” Troye concluded in her piece. “But people who remain steady in their work, their values, and their willingness to tell the truth plainly even when it’s easier to look away.”