Happy Wife, Happy Life

One pleasant afternoon I was out front of my shop sweeping the sidewalk when a couple walked by that I assumed was a husband and wife. The wife stopped on a dime in front of my show window and pointed out a beautiful diamond palm tree to her husband, “I really like that!” To my astonishment he curtly remarked “What do you need that for?” He grabbed her by the hand and abruptly pulled her from the window. I could not help but notice the crestfallen look on her sad face. I immediately felt sad and mad at that moment too. What a jerk! It is not uncommon to see negative reactions from men with their significant others in the shop - the body language says it all. Most guys don’t want to be in a jewelry store in the first place. It could be the fear of the unknown or spending good money, who knows? (It can’t be worse than my experience years ago in a Victoria Secrets Boutique explaining my girlfriend’s bust measurements).

I have run across many guys who considered the purchase of fine jewelry a bad investment. I have proof of that statement; I once knew a gentleman who was in fact a bank president and his wife was overly adorned with cheap rhinestone costume jewelry and gold-plated glass “diamond” rings. Mrs. B.P.’s wife was constantly in the store having rhinestones that had fallen out, replaced and glued back in her stuff that regularly fell apart (costume jewelry is more difficult to repair than fine jewelry. In fact, it’s a pain to repair, it wears out quickly and has a very short life span. When you constantly wear it, you get what you pay for!).

Every time I suggested she get “something real” she would always say “my husband would never allow it!”  This went on for over a decade!

I have noticed a change in women’s attitudes as the decades rolled on; when the significant other did not agree to purchase what the other half had its heart set on getting…they would simply come back alone and purchase it themselves!

“I have my own money and my own account, he won’t buy it for me, I will!”

I may have mentioned this true story in a past article…

I was just closing shop on a Saturday afternoon when a woman entered dressed in black asking about diamond stud earrings. She noticed I was in the process of closing and promised she would only be a minute or two. The first pair I showed her was around $5,000 and she tried them on and said, “I’ll take them, I don’t need a box, and I’ll just wear them out!” I was a bit stunned; it had to be the easiest sale I ever made, while running her credit card, I asked if it was a special occasion? She answered, “Not really. I just buried my husband and I always wanted these. While he was alive, he refused to buy me a pair. Now I have them…thank you!”

Wow! I was speechless, a rare thing indeed.

Another time a woman came in asking what was the most expensive piece I had in the shop. I happened to have a pricey but beautiful diamond necklace on consignment. We agreed on a price and as it was being wrapped up, once again I asked the “a special occasion” question. “No, not really. I found out my husband just bought 150K worth of electronics for our boat without even telling me!”

They get better… a lovely lady pulled up out front in a brand-new Mercedes convertible. She noticed an expensive ring in the window, immediately purchased it and I had to size it up - she wanted to wear it that evening for a social affair, I told her it would be ready at five o’clock. She arrived at precisely 5:00 PM, paid and thanked me. Once again, on another impulse sale, my curiosity got the better of me. She told me “my husband and I own a large company up north and he ran off with the younger secretary. We just divorced - you like my new car? I just love this ring! Guess who the majority shareholder is and who will no longer have a job or a young girlfriend?” Ouch, that poor sod. A woman’s wrath… 

I will admit sometimes I have impossible dead-end sales; I once had a young man come in with - of all people - his future mother-in-law to pick out a diamond engagement ring. I knew this was already off to a bad start (note to young guys out there… Rule Number One in life, do not ever take your future M.I.L. to purchase anything for her daughter even under gunpoint!)                         You see he called in advance and said his budget was in the $3,000 range, and please only bring out diamonds in his price range. Well, when he showed up with the Queen Bee and that 3K budget immediately went to Hades in a handbasket. She picked out rings in the $20,000 price range; I saw the panic on his face because she would not settle for anything less than a two carat for her “little princess”.

I tried to direct her to the less expensive rings to no avail; a two-carat ring was not in this poor schmuck’s budget - what was he thinking bringing her? Then an argument broke out between them and I put the rings away and politely asked them to take it out to the curb because there was a shop full of customers that were enjoying hearing every word. They went out front and exchanged more heated words. They both left in different directions and that was that. About a year later the same young gentleman called me for an appointment. I inquired hoping we were not plowing that same field again? He said no, it’s not the same lady he’s getting a ring for, he thanked me for not marrying the previous lady. She wound up being a Bridezilla of epic proportions, as I fully expected, just like her Mom who wanted at least a two carat. He came in alone this time and purchased a lovely one carat diamond ring for his newest bride to be. I was even invited to the wedding!

Nothing brings me more joy in this business than the look on a woman’s face when she is told…yes, of course you can have it! And I have a wall full of thank you notes to prove it.

There doesn’t have to be a reason to give a gift of fine jewelry, to keep her happy, practice a random act of kindness for your loved one!

Richard Alan is a designer /goldsmith and owner of the Harbor Goldsmith, Marco’s Island Jeweler since 1994. He welcomes your questions and comments about All That Glitters harborgoldsmith.com.