Happily Miserable

As the title says, it’s a phenomenon that is almost unexplainable, those of you who know me, know I will take a stab at trying to explain to the best of my ability.

Of course, we all know that kind of person, it could even be an acquaintance or worse… a close relative. I deal with “The Miserables” on a daily basis, and their miserable world becomes more miserable (if that’s at all possible?) if heaven forbid, their watch battery dies or a prong falls off their diamond ring. “Oh, the inhumanity of it all!”

My staff, which for some unknown reason are almost always in a happy mood and I for one have to put on a happy face while waiting on these folks, I’ll even try to do the impossible and attempt to get a smile out of them, they rarely crack a smile. Detecting one is difficult because most Miserables wear masks so I have to look into their eyes or notice their body language that can send a clear sign of being amused or totally disgusted with me. 

Now I admit I’m not one to walk around thinking life is all sunshine and rainbows. As I get older, I’m finding this retail endurance race is also getting kinda old - only reason I’m still in the race is because I love what I do and the money is good…so I’ll keep running until it all goes downhill. Remember what I said a few articles ago; business is great, people are terrific and life is wonderful! That’s only personified living here in paradise, except if you are one of The Miserables …so don’t tell them “Tis the season to be jolly.”

This crowd becomes even more discontented with the holidays coming. Normally they don’t shop for jewelry for loved ones. Why? Because they don’t usually have “loved ones,” the small percentage who do, these are the unhappy ones who have to put up with them, then there are reluctant co-workers or an acquaintance or two. Notice I didn’t mention the word “friends” because folks that experienced a dose of being around him or her once or twice may at first label them “strange” and realize later they are not the least bit strange, they’re just plain miserable and a nice person becomes miserable just being in their presence. And for the record nothing but nothing makes “a Miserable” more miserable than spending their money, you would think the last place they would want to be is in a jewelry store (Namely mine!).

 On that very rare occasion they enter my establishment, I found out to my amazement many “Miserables are actually married! So, they snicker and make snide remarks under their breath as they move slowly through the shop looking and pointing at this and that, eventually the mumbling becomes a bit louder. When greeted by my staff they pay no mind to their existence, yet their heads explode if they feel they are being ignored. Everything I have in stock is too expensive, too big or too small, wrong color, wrong size…wrong everything! And I’m praying under my breath to please have them… Just go away! They eventually exit the shop never purchasing a thing, only to leave a fog of despair in their wake. I then waste a half can of anti- miserable spray, hoping they don’t come back. 

Now don’t confuse “The Grumpy Ones” with The Miserables. They are a different breed altogether. Hell, I admit it… I’m A Grumpy One! The Miserables made me that way; I’m better now due to receiving treatment for that ailment. A grumpy one can actually laugh or have a nice day, even if it’s accidental. The Miserables never have a good day; they don’t want one, even if it was offered to them free of charge. They simply are not happy unless they are totally miserable. 

That said, Thanksgiving is now over, the holiday season is upon us and hopefully the pandemic is over here in Paradise and we can all enjoy each other’s company and spread joy and happiness to each other both friends and strangers alike. I have hung my Evil eye talisman over both my doorways and I hope to expect a happy and prosperous new year.

Nothing shows friendship, kindness and love like a beautiful piece of fine jewelry, diamonds are still forever, it’s hard not to smile looking at a beautiful sparkling diamond on a loved one’s finger or neckline. A personally engraved piece makes jewelry that more special. So come in and enjoy my large selection of fine jewelry and be served by happy smiling shiny people.

The Miserables need not patronize my shop; you still make me a bit Grumpy.

Happy and safe Holidays to you and yours, from all of us at The Harbor Goldsmith of Marco Island!

Richard Alan is a designer/goldsmith celebrating 25 years of providing fine jewelry and services to the residents of Marco and Naples and from around the world. He welcomes your questions and comments about “All That Glitters.” Visit harborgoldsmith.com.