Getting to Know Yourself is an Art

When my daughter Maribeth was five years old, her artistic talent exceeded mine. That was also about the age that her keen understanding of who she was and what she wanted out of life began to boldly take shape.

In short, Maribeth Jones Janssen has always been a few steps ahead of me.

Many years later, encouraged by Suze Orman and her wife K.T., I took an art class with the extraordinary Lynn Stender, K.T.'s twin sister. I was proud of my quaint watercolor seascape—complete with the somewhat recognizable attributes of water, sand, and palm tree. However, upon seeing my masterwork, Suze's bemused facial expression said it all: "Don't quit your day job."

Ironically, in large part, my day job is as a creative director and writer. Alas, other than my ability to turn a phrase, I tend to excel at coaching other creatives on developing their best work. Thankfully, my juvenile stick figure illustrations have never been on public display.

Plus, for nine years, as the host of ON THE KNOWS podcast, I have led hundreds of deep dives into human nature, engaging in countless stunning discussions on the arts, humanities, creativity, connection, and why people do what they do.

So, when local mental health authority Melissa Philips invited Derek and me to "Beyond the Mirror," her thought-full celebration of the intersection of art and intellect, I was ecstatic. As I am fascinated by lifelong learning and self-awareness, I was fired up and ready to go.

"Beyond the Mirror" is designed as a two-hour therapeutic creative wellness workshop for people experiencing burnout or other challenges. Participants create a layered, mixed-media self-portrait collage using textures, images, and words. The process focuses on mindfulness, self-discovery, and exploring the contrast between internal identity and external perceptions.

In addition to private counseling, Melissa offers other group sessions that focus on additional issues such as navigating life transitions and grief.

And no, you don't have to be artistic; you just have to care.

Twist Gallery in the Bayshore Arts District served as the perfect inspirational backdrop.

At the onset, Melissa explained that our shared goal was a better understanding of who we are as individuals. We were tasked with mentally removing the various hats we wear: spouse, grandparent, mother, father, boss, mentor, and (gasp!) worker-bee.

I was gobsmacked.

Both my professional and personal life focus on other people. As someone who is almost completely defined by my work, I was forced to ask myself: Is there a "me" outside of all of these relationships and descriptors? Can I simply make all of these people intellectually disappear?

Not just another generic "vision board" exercise, "Beyond the Mirror" enabled Melissa to shine by skillfully guiding us through a series of questions that led from profound thought to meaningful artistic expression—a remarkable marriage of action and words.

Emotions became images. Affirmations became headlines. But most of all, vulnerability became a superpower.

Though some in the room knew each other, Melissa established an extremely comfortable vibe for our shared semi-spiritual journey.

Considering her background as a mental health professional, she possesses a keen ability to understand the unique needs of each attendee. Some required privacy and space. Others, like me, were very exacting and wanted feedback and direction.

Although we were assured that there was no such thing as "right" and "wrong," the Virgo in me insisted on structure and guidelines. I truly did want to maximize the benefit.

I mean, artistically, I knew I wasn't creating another Mona Lisa, but a distorted Picasso-esque outcome was surely within my reach. And if I got to take another hard look at myself in the mirror of life, I had to be 100% committed to the process.

I was—and I LOVED it. Plus, there’s a me without you—who knew?

“By the end of the evening, the finished pieces were as different as the people who created them,” observed Melissa. “More importantly, each carried a story that extended well beyond what could be seen on the canvas.”

While GET OUT is supposed to be a Randy and Derek thing—an earnest attempt to get out and explore the very best of Southwest Florida—Derek was unable to attend this workshop. And my response to the news of his conflict? "No problem, I'll just continue telling you who you are and who you should be. After 30 years together, I've made that an art form."

Hmmm. Perhaps a private session is in order.