Getting Support for Mental Illness

Dear Struggling, 

Thank you for your open and honest email. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, the timing of your email is perfect. 

Although we have made progress in our understanding, treatment, and acceptance of mental illness, we still have a long way to go. Just as you stated, when any other organ is diseased or distressed, there is sympathy, understanding, and readily available treatment. When the brain is diseased or distressed, we frequently say, “Just get over it.” Or “You seem fine to me.” Sometimes, we think less of a person because they think or act in a way that is unclear to us. On the contrary, we need to champion folks like you as well as the professionals and organizations who serve the misunderstood, unrecognized, and under-treated.

Another issue is disclosure. I don’t have a ready answer to your question, “How do I decide who to confide in?” I will share a quote from Jane Pauley, television journalist who was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She says, “A diagnosis has been enough without being burdened by secrecy and shame.”

My intuition says to tell trusted friends and family members about your condition so you won’t have the burden of secrecy. Also, if someone comments on your actions like “snap out of it,” it may be an opening to explain to them why you act as you do. Be careful, however, to not trample on their feelings - especially if they have no idea of your situation.

Obviously, you don't need to tell everyone you know about your condition. But, according to experts, you also shouldn't rely on only one person. It's much better to have a few people you can turn to in a crisis or when you need help (such as a ride or child care while you go to a doctor's appointment). It’s too much to give all the responsibility to one person.

Communicate the best you can. You can’t control the thoughts, actions, or opinions of others. Walk away from people who see you as “less than” because you have a mental illness. Surround yourself with people who support you.

I’m not an expert. These suggestions are only my opinion. If you’re particularly troubled, I suggest you talk with a therapist or doctor with expertise in the field.