Getting Prepared For A Special Visit

Dear Coach,

I found your column at the Coastal Breeze online as I was researching what to do on Marco Island when my partner and I visit my grandparents this winter. Although they know I’m gay, they have never seen me with another woman, much less the love of my life. I’ve let them know we are coming together. I’m wondering how to handle any awkward situations that may come up.

Signed,

Getting Prepared

Dear Getting Prepared,

Besides spending time with your grandparents and enjoying our beautiful island, what goals do you have for your visit? To have your grandparents accept your lifestyle? Welcome your partner into the family? Embrace her as a granddaughter? Be clear with yourself so you can be clear in your communications—both verbal and non-verbal.

Find out in advance what the sleeping arrangements will be—you don’t want surprises. Prepare your partner on what to expect. Are your grandparents reluctantly accepting your lifestyle or embracing it? Have a conversation with your partner on how to handle possible hostility or coolness. Be yourselves. How you show-up as a couple during this first visit will set the tone for the future.

Also, bring your credit card along in case you need to stay elsewhere. Don’t allow yourselves to be trapped in a hostile environment. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.