Finding Acceptance

Dear Troubled,

Congratulate yourself on the fact that they feel comfortable enough to come and visit you. Although you may have doubts and uneasy feelings, it sounds as if you haven’t transferred these to your granddaughter so you’re starting in a positive place. 

If you have a history of speaking openly with your granddaughter, tell her that it’s taking you a while to let go of your vision for her future. Let her know that you understand it can be challenging to live her authentic life and that you’re proud of her for doing so. When you say these things, she’s likely to open up about her journey. 

Much of the girls’ time with you may be spent doing activities by themselves like going to the beach or sightseeing. Encourage them to do this rather than having them think they need to spend all day with you. This will give you an emotional break and time to reflect on your feelings. 

Consider the sleeping arrangements ahead of time. If you’re uncomfortable with them sleeping in the same room, make your opinions clear and provide them with an alternative. On the other hand, if you’re comfortable with them sleeping together, ask your granddaughter if having one bed is acceptable to her and her girlfriend. Don’t assume that they’re at this stage in their relationship.

Enjoy their company! Forget about the fact that they are gay women. It’s your precious granddaughter and her friend taking time to visit you. Stay in the moment, the future will take care of itself!