Family, Faith and Positivity Get Deneen Rose Through the Tough Times

"September 2, I went in. They were only expecting me to be under for four hours. I was under for six hours. It was attached to part of my muscle. She said she had this feeling. She went back in and scraped some of my muscle out. And there was cancer on that muscle, and she got that,” she said with a sigh. "So, she saw my margins while I was opened up. And they did all the tissue parts. My margins were cleared. I wanted to hear her say I’m cancer free. And she said, ‘You are cancer free, but you have to go for your PET scan just to give it 100 percent clarity.'  So, of course, it took a week to get my PET scan. I went for my PET scan just last Thursday. I’m a survivor. So that’s why I started to come out. So now I can say when people come up to me, 'I’m done. I’m a survivor. I’m cancer free.’"

Rose said going through breast cancer is mentally taxing. In the toughest of times, she focused on eating healthy, maintaining a positive attitude and trusting in God.

"It plays with your mind,” she explains. "Just when you’re staying focused, the littlest thing can take it out. Even when people would compliment me, ‘Oh Deneen, you look so good.’ I’d wonder, ‘Are they just saying that?' You just don’t have it. And I was a pretty much positive person, but this just takes it out of you. But my biggest thing that I would tell anybody, you stay strong. You think positive. Be healthy as anything. And just have faith in God. Because no matter how many carrots you eat, it’s in God’s hands, and He has a path for us. I don’t know why you made me go through this path,” Rose said, looking skyward, "but He has a path for us all. There’s reasons why I waited to go get checked out. It was just in God’s hands and I’m so thankful. I’ve had plenty of conversations with Him. Plenty of conversations. I told my family the other day, I closed my eyes one time, and there was a bright light. But I snapped out of it. Like when you fall asleep and you snore and you snap out of it. That’s what happened to me. A really bright, bright, light. Five seconds, maybe not even that long. And I just opened up my eyes. I didn’t want to tell anybody, but in my mind that was God telling me, ‘Just keep on moving forward,’ she said, crying. “I was at peace when I came out. I felt I could beat this. I could do this. Then hearing the people who knew my situation telling me, ‘You can do this. You are strong Deneen. If anybody can do it, you can do it.' It gave me a lot more confidence. Because your mind plays games with you. You sit back and think, ‘Which way?' When you look up at the darkest skies, you look up and you find those stars. And you grab those stars.”

Rose’s is philosophical about her brush with mortality.

"Cancer is only going to be a chapter in my life,” she said confidently. "It isn’t going to be my whole story. There’s little things like that just need repeating. I didn’t go into the cancer community, and go on those blogs, but I did look at the quotes. There are some that just stick with you and are so meaningful. Your whole perspective on life is different now. What I used to get upset about and get stressed about, I don’t care about anymore. I truly want to live my life to the fullest right now. And not worry about anything and not let anything hold me back. Even with my mastectomy. I have a high tolerance for pain. But He was with me, and I only had to take Tylenol after it. I just felt God was taking care of me. His footprints were right next to me. During chemo, there was just one set of footprints, because He was carrying me through it. But now, when I see those footprints next to me, I know I can do it,” she said and starts to cry.

Unquestionably, Rose believes her faith was a big part of her success.

“Faith and positivity,” she said, "absolutely. The health. The fitness. And the positivity - the outlook that you’re going to be okay. If you tell yourself you’re not going to be able to hold this, you’re not going to be able to. My journey is not over yet. I still have some stuff ahead of me. But I went through the roughest part. It’s easier to go on now, knowing that I’m cancer free."

Rose, who is in her 50s, was touched when the school’s volleyball team honored her at their last home game on Thursday, October 7. It was a coming out for Rose.

"Alyssa Stolinas, the coach, I taught her when I first came to Marco Island in 2007,” Rose said. "I was a substitute teacher at Marco Island Charter Middle School. She was a little sassy pants sixth and seventh and eighth grader. I’ve seen her grow over the years and prosper into a fantastic coach. She is friends with my oldest daughter. She said, ‘I really want to honor your mom, but I don’t want to intrude. If she’s not ready, that’s okay, we can do it next year.' Two weeks later she texted me. She said, ‘I wanted to do this in person. Now that it’s all done and over with, are you willing?’ I said, ‘Alyssa, I would do it for you. Absolutely.'   didn’t know what they were going to do. I said, 'I’m not ready to stand up in front of people and talk yet.' But she did it with elegance and class. The speeches that the three seniors said to me - for young girls to even take the time to be so thoughtful and kind to do that for me, it put me on top of the world. Jerry Miller (MIA physical education teacher) started me. He used to text me throughout my whole journey. 'We can’t wait till we have Deneen back.' When I heard him announcing, and he was choking up, I grabbed on to Melissa’s hand. I was like, ‘Oh please, don’t leave me.’ I’m not a person who likes to be the center of attention. But it was just great. It was just fantastic. And that kind of just opened up the door for me. It’s alright now. I can face people. I am okay. It’s a disease that we unfortunately go through. But you want to make the person as comfortable as you can be.

“Some of the students just found out at the volleyball game,” she said. "I didn’t want to tell the kids. I’m sure when they looked at me, I looked a little different. I only lost 12 pounds during chemo. But your skin changes. You don’t feel yourself. And when you look at what you used to look like, it’s like, ‘Oh my gosh, I want to get back to that.' Slowly but surely, I’ll get back to where I was. I didn’t want to say anything to the students. There’s a lot of them who have my heart here. I’ve known them since they were little. I just didn’t want to put those kids through it. But once I went through the chemo, and I knew what track I was going down, then it was easier for me to handle. They’re so receptive. They look at me as a mom. They just show me their love and their support. Even the teachers and the faculty. The leadership team here. They pulled through it with me. They gave me the support and love that I needed while I was here.”

“Coach Alyssa,” Melissa Scott said, “the girls, me, the school - we simply want to try to express to her how much we love her."

And of course, as Rose looks forward, she is buoyed by her daughters.

“They were my light,” she said. "They kept me going. They saw me at my worst. They saw me when I was laughing one minute and crying the next minute. They got their thick skin. They kept me alive. They kept me striving because there was something to live for. They helped me through this. That’s why I kept it between me and them. Just looking into their eyes, I felt happiness. Pure peace and everything."

Her advice to other women?

“Go and get checked,” she said. "Even if it doesn’t run in your family. Get checked. It doesn’t take long. For people that are going through it right now, you just have to forget about everything. Don’t think about anybody else but yourself. If you don’t think about yourself, you won't have the ones that you love. Positivity and faith. Those were my two big guns that helped me get through. I’ve had a lot of battles in my lifetime, but I kept on saying to myself, 'This is a battle that I’m going to win.’ And I was determined. You have no idea of the relief that you can breathe and exhale and let it out. You don’t feel relieved until you see that doctor look at you and say, ‘You’re cancer free.’ It’s the best feeling in the world. And I always wanted to run after good news. I just wanted to run. Nothing can bother me right now,” she laughs.