Family and Pumpkin Pie

Answer: Estate planning is more than just transferring wealth. It’s also about sharing values, wishes, and family history for future generations. Explaining the reasoning behind your planning decisions is just as important as preparing your family for the responsibilities of managing wealth.

With Thanksgiving approaching, it may be the perfect opportunity for a family meeting. At our house, after pie and coffee are served, the younger kids settle in to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation while the adults reflect on the year. This is an opportunity to talk about changes in our situations, needs, and goals. We tend to save the more serious conversations for the weekend! Here are a few tips to get started:

When and where

If your family is spread out, dinner and dessert won’t work. Consider planning ahead to coordinate a conference call, or a vacation for the whole gang designating a time to talk about the future and your wishes.

Instead of giving gifts throughout the year, we host a family vacation. Cruises or a VRBO allow everyone to enjoy individual interests during the day and come together for dinner. One evening is reserved to discuss our family mission statements, values, wishes for the future and estate planning updates. These conversations keep everyone informed and connected in meaningful ways.

Who should attend?

Start with immediate family, especially when discussing sensitive topics. Over time, you may want to include in-laws and grandchildren in the conversation. Your trusted CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PROFESSIONAL® Planner can help create an agenda and outline key topics, along with any follow-up actions.

As you invite participants to the table, consider their strengths. Is someone more financially savvy? Another, the family historian? Is someone more responsible than others? You might assign roles such as

• Liaison to your attorney, accountant, and trustee
• Point person for updating your financial advisor,
• Coordinator of family philanthropy,
• Family educator or communicator.

The roles encourage engagement and accountability. You can always switch up the responsibilities over time, so no one feels overwhelmed or excluded. A “family secretary” could keep track of action items and document decisions.

What should you talk about?

There’s a wide range of topics you may wish to cover, some easier to approach than others. That just means that the harder ones are often the most important. Here are a few ideas to get the conversation flowing:

• Celebrate accomplishments. Compliment family members’ efforts. If hard work is a core value, express appreciation. It reinforces a send of purpose, self-esteem, and discourages entitlement.
• Intentions matter. Develop a mission statement together so you all know what values you hope to promote through philanthropic endeavors. Ours is simple; “Always remember to be kind, loving, caring and sharing.”
• Support education. Discuss how the family can help support the next generation reach their educational goals.
• Potential investment opportunities. A family member may want to start or grow a business. Could support them financially or through introductions and networking?
• Business plans. If you’re a business owner, have you planned for succession at your retirement? Will your family or children play a role in that transition?
• Health, mobility, and caregiving concerns. Whether you’re the matriarch or patriarch or a concerned son or daughter, these very real issues should be addressed before they become urgent. One of the greatest gifts we’ve given our family is a plan for future care. This includes plans for who will help us, and whether our home needs modifications.
• Navigate transition. Life changes such as marriages, births, divorces, and stepchildren can affect beneficiaries and inheritance plans. While these discussions can sometimes be challenging or uncomfortable, they’re essential for fairness and clarity.

When to reconvene?

Like the other aspects of planning a family meeting, this depends on your family’s unique situation and needs. You might begin with one or two longer meetings to get going, followed by shorter, more casual, and natural check-ins or get-togethers once or twice a year. After your first meeting, you’ll know better what works best for you and your family.

Let us know if you’d like help putting together a meeting, we’re here to support you for generations to come. Stay focused and plan accordingly.