Excess in Moderation

At this particular point and time in my life, this column's heading is my new mantra. We have all heard it said, “You only live once.” Or “You have to grab all the gusto you can.” Then there is “You only pass this way once.” and “Live each day as if it’s your last.” Then there is my favorite, “Pick the road less traveled.” So now you got the picture of where I’m coming from or should I say where I’m intending to go soon! 

My intentions this summer was not to disappoint anyone. Gratefully I am in perfect health even though my existence will soon be 70 years on this planet, and I certainly have no plans of leaving this world anytime soon. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go now, myself included. 

I have been living and working on this spit of sand and coral situated in the Gulf of Mexico since 1994 (29 years if you do the math). In addition to that fact, I also worked previously in the jewelry industry while living in New England for 24 years before coming to Marco, so we are talking a total of 53 years doing my thing in the jewelry business.

So please forgive me for being redundant (here’s where the sad violin solo cues in!) if some of my previous or new clients are “quote and unquote” “Very disappointed” that I decided to take most of the summer of 2023 off.

That being said, I would also like to thank those of you who understand the reasons for my absence. I’ll be back when I’m good and ready, spending my kid’s inheritance this summer. I promise I’ll be back in the retail trenches full-time by October 2nd. 

I have been back several times in the shop between my adventures for a week or so to do damage control, only to find out my son and daughter have everything more than under control.

The only hiccups are the usual occasional summertime whack-a-doodles that somehow stumbled on the island or recently found habitation here, and it becomes obvious they don’t know me that well. These folks only further convince me that this strip mall was built on an ancient Calusa Indian burial ground and somehow attracts these malcontents. And speaking of malcontents…

I was (un?) fortunately in the shop last week in between my summer destinations when a very unhappy young lady was raking my daughter over the coals for issues concerning an engagement ring she said was purchased from us in February (It is now August, so why did it take seven months to complain?).

From my workbench in the other room I could hear she was nearly screaming at Lindsay with more than several complaints about the ring we sold her fiancé with other customers overhearing this commotion. I got up and told her to calm down and what is the problem? She ticked off several things while I was examining the ring, oddly it did not look familiar to me, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt; the ring did have some issues…the center stone was set crooked, the prongs were all sticking straight up, and the ring was bent to an oval shape. 

Something certainly wasn’t right. Even on my worst day, I would never let a ring out of my shop looking like this. I took it to my bench while she stood there fuming. I then straightened out the ring and the diamond, lowered the prongs onto the diamond, trimmed and polished them so they would no longer snag. Minutes later, I handed it back to her - the ring was now looking perfect…So I thought.

She was scrutinizing the ring as if she were using an electron microscope; she said there was a microscopic gap on one side of a diamond baguette. I could not for the life of me see what she was talking about. I did not want to argue and have her start losing it again, so I told her she would now have to leave it, so I could “add some gold to it.”  

Not even an hour later, she returned demanding the ring back. My daughter explained we haven’t done anything to it yet. Give it back to me; my fiancé told me he didn’t buy it here! She then grabbed the ring out of Lin’s hand and stormed out of the shop! Whaaat? Lindsay was speechless!

Not so much as even an apology by causing a scene in front of customers, no thank you and no offer of paying me to fix her messed up ring that thanks to me was no longer a defective ring! 

What a class act that queen of Whackadoodleville was! 

I’m tagging up on island second base right now. I’ll soon be heading back to Europe in a few days. I have a few more unpleasant experiences I could talk about here, but I’d rather not go digging up recently buried bones right now! I’m off again to my happy place. Mallorca, Spain, awaits me!

Enjoy the rest of your summer!