Everybody Wants Some…I Want Some, Too

Has anyone noticed that even the most insignificant things in life have become a real hassle? Don’t get me going about what I have to go through when the really important things become beyond difficult and more than just challenging. Have you traveled by air lately or waited in line at the pharmacy…now you get it. Actually getting what I ordered at the Mickey “D’s” drive thru first thing in the morning can be a positive and pivotal moment in my life because getting what I ordered was such an unexpected surprise for me. Even when it’s wrong, I still accept it and drive away. That’s me; it’s not my nature to cause a scene. Apparently, that’s not true with some people. These folks will return and perform a twenty-five-minute ranting tirade complete with a clothing tearing rage till they are foaming at the mouth, over the simple point there was no extra pickles in the burger. NO EXTRA PICKLES? I couldn’t care less if they forgot the pickles, At least my cheeseburger showed up with cheese on it! Does that make me non-Kevin? 

I have worked with the public for over a half century and dealt with “Karen’s” years before they were known or the current generation was even born. Only today most Karen’s or Kevin’s (female and male) are also infected with what I call C.B.S. (Covid Brain Syndrome). We all have been exposed to this virus one way or another - some of us had its symptoms, some not a trace of it, they just became a walking, talking spreader of it everywhere. No one can deny that a great deal of the population was exposed. While I have no substantial laboratory proof of this exceptionally common medical phenomenon, try and convince me it C.B.S. doesn’t exist!           Besides who needs proof about anything anymore, like for instance standing up to my hips in water on my driveway a couple of months ago has nothing to do with global warming! It's God's will. Even if global warming is a proven fact of life, some folk won’t be convinced even seeing arctic polar bears shedding body hair and requiring sunscreen! What do the scientists know anyway? Besides, half the population will condemn it, ignore it or put some opposite spin on it                      … It’s because the sun is getting hotter, can’t do a thing about that!

Years ago in the pre-Karen era, when dealing with a difficult person you could just tell them to leave or walk away, end of problem. Not today folks…with today’s Covid ridden brain powered Karen’s it’s like they have super powers or are on steroids or something. Out comes the cell phone taping and recording the whole incident for YouTube all with arms flailing, screaming and running around as if they are on fire. If you have ever witnessed one in action, it’s a tragically unforgettable experience. I can remember even as little as twenty-five years ago if one pulled this same scene in public - I believe it was called a public disturbance or a police code 10-101 - within minutes a plain van with guys dressed in white would show up and apprehend you, dress you in a straitjacket then whisk you away to “a happy place”. At least until you calmed down, got diagnosed, treated, and maybe released when you have absorbed a small semblance of common sense, some social manners and the fact you can face reality like some of the rest of us. We need to bring that social process back. Let’s put a facility next to Urgent Care, with six vans. I’ll gladly donate to its completion. Only problem is every holding room regardless of the size would be filled to capacity during every weekend, especially in season. A problem I could live with, at least they are off the streets.

I’m easily impressed nowadays when something complicated or even simple goes right. 

I have been running my goldsmith/jewelry shop on the island for almost twenty-eight years now. It used to be stressful enough just running a business here on Mayberry with Sand Island; now I believe each and every business owner is either seeking therapy or currently in sessions. It’s hard, very hard dealing with the public. People complain when there is no reason to complain. It’s not just me; I have many friends in the restaurant biz and I more than feel for them. People will complain to them expecting not to pay, because of this or that or worse - the butter came out too hard, meanwhile the Karen couple consumed the wine and the entire meal they said they despised and will be sure to print a four-page complaint on Yelp, giving the restaurant zero stars!!

I recently had a customer who I created a piece of jewelry especially for her. I should have known better by my first impression upon meeting her; her eyeballs were swirling in her head like they were in a pinball machine, usually a sure sign in the art of Karen detection. And that is exactly what she was - a dyed in the wool card-carrying KAREN… Nothing is going to go right here even when I did everything right, and I’m proud to say I was always one step ahead of her. She was part of the process from start to finish - raise this, adjust that, widen this, make that shorter, add more diamonds, use less diamonds. When I finally finished it, she picked it up, put the piece on crying with tears of joy (so I thought?) Three or four months later she comes in crying demanding a refund or I do the whole thing over?? You left the shop loving the piece a couple of months ago. “I know, I was at a party the other night and someone gave me a negative compliment, I don’t want it anymore!”  A negative compliment? What the heck is that? Oh that must be like alternative truth. 

Besides, me “doing it over” will not be free, it was your design, remember!

Then there are those who have nothing to do and insist that you complete meaningless tasks. What person in their right mind would walk into my busy shop during the holiday shopping season with a bag full of perfectly running wrist watches to have their batteries checked just to see when they will die, because he needs to know how soon they will need one in the future? Are you kidding me? Who stays up at night thinking about things like this? Sir, you will need a battery when it stops telling you the time! Here’s a tip when you are not wearing the watch, and I presume you don’t wear all of them on your wrist at the same time; just pull out the stem and the watch will stop running, saving the life of your battery(s) and hopefully reduce the pain, mental anguish and stress life has handed you over this obviously important matter.

You know, now that I think about it, the watch thing is a good lesson on life. Sometimes you just have to go home or wherever you feel most at peace, with loved ones (like the sea!) and just “pull out the stem” to stop time and the madness that is around us. Just chill with friends and family for even a short time… We are certainly in the right time and Marco is the perfect place for that.

To all of the rest of we sane folk …a safe, joyous Holiday season, a Happy Hanukkah, a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 

(Can’t wait to see what 2023 brings!)