Embracing Spontaneity To Enjoy Life’s Moments

Dear Coach,

I’ve spent much of my life striving, rushing, and stressing in order to climb the corporate ladder with the goal of eventually being able to enjoy a lucrative retirement. 

However, now that I’ve reached my goal and have retired, I’m feeling unfulfilled and wondering what’s next for me. How do I stop rushing and learn how to appreciate the impromptu moments of life that I missed while I was trying to get to where I am today? 

Signed,

Missing Moments

Dear Missing,

Perhaps actor Will Rogers addressed part of your dilemma when he wrote, “Half our time is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” Can you identify?

Here are a few ideas to help you be more spontaneous and enjoy the moments of your life.

- Plan your spontaneity. This sounds contrary to the principle but setting aside unstructured time on your calendar can lead to saying “yes” to unplanned opportunities. Start with a half day. Let’s say you keep your calendar open on Thursday afternoons. Now, when you receive an impromptu invitation to lunch, without reservation, you can say, “I’d love to. I’m available on Thursday."

- Listen to your intuition. On the days you have no invitations, use your unscheduled time to sit quietly by yourself. Yes, sit quietly without an electronic device. Ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” Unless it’s illegal, don’t question what comes up. Grab a pizza, go to a movie, call an old friend, take a nap, bake cookies, read a book. Go with what comes to mind. Once you learn to say yes to small impulses, go bigger. Plan an exotic trip, schedule a make-over, sign up for a dance class. You can retrain your brain’s circuits if you learn to embrace your intuition.

- Speak to a stranger. I know this sounds weird but when I traveled by myself this summer, some of my greatest “moments” were centered around meeting strangers along the way. Sometimes they initiated the conversation, sometimes I did. In most cases, the outcome was memorable. How often do you get to meet and be invited to share a meal with people from South Africa on a ranch in the sandhills of Nebraska?

- Take a new route. Whether this means walking down a new street in your neighborhood or taking a train instead of a plane across the country, mix up your scenery and enjoy a new experience.

- Go on a digital diet. Much of the time we could be enjoying spontaneous moments is spent with our eyes on our phones or computer. Break away from the digital world and make time for “real,” not virtual, experiences and people.

- Choose a moment to savor every day. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California at Riverside and author of “The How of Happiness,” explains, “(Savoring) usually involves your senses. This could be while you're eating a pastry, taking a shower, or basking in the sun. You could be savoring a success or savoring music.” Take a few moments each day to savor what you normally rush through or take no notice of. This practice will slow you down and teach you how to notice and appreciate the moments of your life. 

Ask yourself: How will I tweak my life so I don’t miss the precious, unplanned-for moments?