Divorce Jewelry

This column will read a bit weird, I know. But hear me out. Marriage and divorce come up a lot in conversation in the day-to-day business of a jewelry store. Like the lyrics from an old Jimmy Buffet song, “In the tropics they come and they go!” It has appeared to me that would also include staying happily married here in tropical Southwest Florida.

 People love to commemorate special occasions with a little jewelry memento that will last a lifetime. Why not divorce? I wait on a lot of nervous, soon-to-be-engaged couples; moments later after they leave the store, in walks a divorcing or newly divorced client, and I must quickly pivot from offering congratulations to offering my condolences. Such is life. It is also a very common experience that the divorcee will want us to buy the ring back regardless of how many years, months, or even weeks have passed since it was purchased from us. My dad once told me if the shop bought back every engagement ring or wedding band we sold that resulted in a failed relationship, we would be out of business and if we hung each and every one of them from the ceiling, we would have the world’s most expensive diamond chandelier. It has become our store policy that we do not engrave wedding bands until they are paid in full, so now once they are engraved, they are not returnable. No one wants to buy a seldom used wedding band engraved with “Joe loves Mary forever 6-16-24.” Apparently, nowadays forever doesn’t last too long. 

Having been through divorce myself, I can offer my sympathy and some words of encouragement. I remember my attorney telling me during my divorce, “Getting divorced sucks, but being divorced is awesome!” She was right. Once you’re through it, it can be a great time to recreate yourself. Why not celebrate the new you? A lot of women are unsure of what to do with that naked left ring finger after many years of wearing a wedding ring. The answer is anything you want! I treated myself to an outrageous 4.12-carat emerald set in platinum and diamonds and proudly wear it on my “wedding” ring finger. I get so many compliments on it, far more than that measly diamond he presented me with so many years ago. This is the great thing about wearing jewelry in this modern era. Anything goes! Another marvelous revelation I realized upon my dissolved union? I don’t have to ask anyone for permission to buy something I want! Imagine that? Today’s modern woman buying herself jewelry because she wants it! Get this, it gets better. You can buy any kind of stone you like. It doesn’t have to be birthstone jewelry. My birthday is in January. My birthstone is a garnet and I hate it. I don’t own a single piece of garnet jewelry. That muddy blood-red color is not attractive to me. Garnet does come in many other colors. Rhodolite garnet is a pretty purplish pink and Tsavorite garnet is a lovely green; sometimes I am drawn to these other colors but for the most part, I prefer more luxurious gemstones. Hence, my giant emerald and diamond ring. When I receive a compliment, I offer thanks and explain it is my divorce ring. People always have a little chuckle, and it leads to conversations about their divorce in the past or their successful second or third marriage. Some lady customers of mine admit to quite the engagement ring collection they have in their jewelry box. This leads to the next question I get often. What to do with the old engagement ring(s)? This topic is often sensitive and fraught with emotion. There really is a stigma when it comes to reselling engagement rings linked to broken marriages - it’s like a curse or bad Mojo. Believe me, it’s a real thing.

Most soon-to-be-engaged couples really want to build their ring from the ground up, making it a personal experience. We offer this service, sourcing certified diamonds from our dealers across the country and offering custom designs for the perfect engagement ring. My suggestion for what to do with an unneeded engagement ring is to reset it into a pendant or perhaps attempt to match it and mount it into diamond stud earrings. Lab diamonds are a great, less expensive option to match your existing stone. Last week, we talked about station necklaces; this is a great way to reuse that diamond in a fabulous new wardrobe staple. No one will ever know where that diamond came from. Another option is a three-stone ring, any color you like for the flanking stones on either side of your no-longer an engagement diamond that sits in the center. We have some beautiful options. You can flank it with your unneeded diamond and we can match it to the other side stone. This ring is timeless and doesn’t read as an engagement ring when done with a colored gemstone center. It makes a great choice for a right-hand ring. Sapphires are a great option, or Tourmaline. Tourmaline comes in many colors and I’m kind of obsessed with it now. It comes in many shades of green and makes a great choice for daily wear. It is a nice alternative to emerald which is quite fragile. Some people don’t like the way all emeralds have flaws so tourmaline can deliver the color and clarity that people want. Come and see our large selection of tourmaline jewelry for yourself. It comes in the most exquisite pink colors, too!

There is a lot of healing involved in the process of divorce; a lot of women are in a rush to move on and want to be rid of that piece of sentimental jewelry. My Dad has often mentioned and wondered how many diamonds and wedding rings have been tossed off the Jolly Bridge into the Marco River bed during the heat of an emotional moment. We understand this healing process as well. If you have a daughter or beloved niece maybe re-gifting that diamond is an option. Sometimes, maybe just setting it aside for some time until you can approach it from a less emotional place is also a good idea.

One thing I’ve learned in this business - love may be fleeting but diamonds are forever!