Dear Moms

Dear Always Comparing and Worried Mom,

First of all, comparing your twins and feeling concerned is completely natural—it comes from a place of love. Watching your babies grow and reach milestones is exciting, but it can also be stressful when one seems to progress faster than the other. It’s easy to expect twins to develop in sync but remember - they’re two unique individuals with their own timelines, personalities, and strengths.

As a twin mom myself, I completely understand this feeling. I noticed differences early on—from who rolled over first to who took their first steps. I started calling it “when twins aren’t twinning.” One might excel in motor skills while the other shows more interest in music or language. The key is to notice what each child needs and nurture those areas individually.

You can do this by spending one-on-one time with each twin—maybe while one naps or by dividing time between parents. When they’re together, turn learning into a fun, shared experience. If you ever feel unsure, it’s perfectly fine to seek guidance from a pediatrician, occupational therapist, or tutor. There’s no single “right” way to support them.

The wonderful thing about twins is that they often learn from each other. With patience, encouragement, and consistency, they’ll both thrive at their own pace. Celebrate their differences, focus on their individual progress, and try not to let outside comparisons or pressures weigh you down.

You’re doing an amazing job. Embrace each milestone as it comes—and enjoy the beautiful, unique journey of raising twins.