Buzzards Over Goodland

There is no truth to the rumor that the NFL schedules the Super Bowl for the weekend after the Mullet Festival at Stan’s. 

In Goodland, though, that might as well be the case. The arrival of the iconic weekend blowout at Stan’s Idle Hour in Goodland means that the “season” is in full swing. From now until June, when Spammy Jammy at the Little Bar marks season’s end, the down-home fishing village attached to refined, straitlaced Marco Island like a crazy cousin is as energetic as…well, as a buzzard doing the “buzzard lope.”

On both Saturday and Sunday, the Buzzard Lope is the highlight of the Mullet Festival, which is notching its 40th annual appearance this year. While the festival is named after the bottom-feeding mullet, the disreputable, trash-scavenging buzzard gets top billing. The theme song is “The Buzzard Lope,” by Stan’s Idle Hour namesake Stan Gober, the restaurant’s founder and longtime frontman, who passed away in 2012.

“Flap your wings up and down, take steps around and round,” say the lyrics in the verse, instructions to the dancers who every year compete to be named Buzzard Lope Queen and Princess. Saturday afternoon, some of the Princess contestants needed all the instruction they could get, and even coaching from Stan’s staffer Rebecca Riggs, along with encouragement from Jeff Hilt, singing with the band and emceeing the show.

The band repeated, “Looks like she’s on dope – she is doin’ the Buzzard Lope,” over and over, as the would-be queens gyrated and flapped their wings. Ziggy Krafft, two years old, just looked out at the crowd looking at her when her turn came to solo and needed help from mom Andrea to attempt a few dance steps.

Savannah Burgin, nine, of Naples, was crowned Buzzard Lope Princess, winning $250 in cash, a trophy and bragging rights. 

But the traditional finale of the show, the Buzzard Lope Queen contest on Sunday afternoon, with feather boa-clad ladies gyrating to be named this year’s queen, is the main attraction. After rainstorms blew through earlier in the day, the weather cooperated just as Steve Gober, Stan’s owner and son of the founder, had predicted. 

“There ain’t gonna be no weather on Sunday,” he opined, proving himself at least as accurate a meteorologist as those on the TV stations. “Come on and have a good time and do the Buzzard Lope.” Gober said of the bands on tap, “This is the best lineup we’ve ever had.” 

Those musical acts included Man of Many Hats and Rock Republic on Friday, the Jack Shealy Band and Homestead’s Southern Stampede on Saturday, and the Shane Duncan Band all afternoon on Sunday. Hilt, resplendent in a tuxedo jacket and multicolored swim trunks, with a black feather boa of his own on the crown of his hat, led the crowd through the rounds of eliminations, with winners chosen by crowd noise. When the last buzzard had loped, the stage was covered with black feathers, and a new Buzzard Lope Queen was crowned. 

Samantha Lange of Naples won the contest, determined by audience appreciation, topping a field of nine contenders. In a first for the Mullet Festival, Samantha is a previous winner of the Princess title, winning in 2007 as a seven-year-old girl. She won $500 in cash for her energetic flapping, and leaped in the air when she was announced as the Queen. 

Diana Decko of Naples, herself a former Buzzard Lope Queen, won for best costume, which came with a $250 prize. 

As Steve Gober pointed out, mullet is available for consumption at the Mullet Festival, fried, blackened or as mullet tacos, “and it’s all local – from right around Goodland.” The Marco Fire-Rescue Dept. sold hotdogs and bratwurst as a benefit from a stand outside, making enough smoke to get their on-duty brethren called out. All the food items are traditionally washed down with copious amounts of beer sold individually or by the bucket.

The Island Woman sold beach attire, with hats and T-shirts the biggest sellers, according to owner Fia Carter, daughter of original Island Woman Anna Carter. Judging from the dozens of bikes parked out front, there is a local ordinance banning any motorcycle other than a Harley-Davidson from Stan’s. Goodland’s other favorite mode of transport, the golf cart, was also in evidence, with an extended version providing free shuttle service between Stan’s and the Crabby Lady, a few docks down the waterfront. 

A metal sculpture or weathervane in the shape of a buzzard perched atop a guitar tops the stage at Stan’s, and high overhead, a real buzzard soared on the breeze. It was probably Stan Gober, keeping an eye on things.