Book Club Tips for Success

Dear Coach,

In a recent column you gave us several book suggestions. Now that I’ve read a couple of these books, I’m dying to discuss them with others. I’m wondering about getting involved in a book club - either online or in person.

My biggest concern is that I might “have to” read a book someone else chooses that I won’t like. Have you had experience with book clubs? Is my concern valid? 

Signed,

Reader

Dear Reader,

I believe we gain new perspectives when we read, and even more when we discuss what we’ve read with others.

I first became involved with a book club soon after I retired (before I un-retired and started writing). This group was a wonderful example of a serious book club with people who wanted to learn from their reading experience and were open to the opinions and book choices of others.

The club had been in existence for years before I was invited to join and it never turned into “just a social group” as book clubs often do. This was partially thanks to Lucy, a former librarian and the member who kept us serious about our reading. The group is still going strong although Lucy has since died. I moved away seven years ago and I dearly miss these smart, engaged readers.

Since moving to the island, I’ve been involved in a sporadic group that is equally awesome but only meets about three times a year. I structured this group to be like my original book club. Each person is responsible for choosing a book, leading the discussion, and hosting the group once a year/season. They must have read the book before suggesting it.

To answer your question about reading books you might not ordinarily read, I think this is one of the advantages of a book club. I have read books I would have NEVER read and, sometimes, didn’t like at all. However, I ALWAYS learned something from reading and discussing the book. 

Here are a few other tips for starting a successful book club:

1. Find a group of serious readers. By that I mean people who will commit to reading each selection and discuss it openly and honestly. On average, I read a book a week but I wouldn’t recommend every book I read to my book club. I carefully select a book that lends itself to discussion and takes into account the interests and tastes of the group. Also, I only choose books that are VERY well-written with engaging story lines. 

2. Set expectations for your group. Decide on a meeting time and location, how the club will be led, and who makes the book selections. Some clubs choose all the books for the year by mutual consent then designate one or two facilitators. Others, like my groups, allow members to select their book for the month they facilitate. 

3. Expect respect! Successful book clubs are built on active listening, respect, and compromise. Just as reading fiction allows us to step into another person’s story and see beyond our own point of view, respectfully discussing fiction (or nonfiction) can further expand our perspectives.

4. Set a clear purpose. Be clear that your group is about learning from books and each other. You may choose a specific purpose for your group like reading and discussing books dealing with social justice or other pertinent topics. Encourage members to socialize before and after the designated meeting times. 

5. Invite an introvert. If you’re an introvert, or know someone who is and who prefers to connect through shared ideas rather than shared social information, book clubs can be ideal. According to Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D. and author of “Introvert Power”: “A forum that raises interesting questions and reminds us of why we love literature will be a source of meaningful connection for an introvert.” 

I hope you find the book club that is perfect for you. 

Mershon Niesner is a Certified Life Coach and author of “Mom’s Gone, Now What? Ten Steps to Help Daughters Move Forward After Mother Loss” which is available on Amazon; also, locally at Sunshine Booksellers and Keep In Touch. For more information visit www.mershonniesner.com. Email your coaching questions to askcoachmershon@gmail.com. Your identity will be kept strictly confidential.