Better Late Than Never

Dear Coach,

Is it ever too late to send a thank you? I have no excuses for not getting my Christmas thank you notes out on time. I’m twenty-five and live on my own. Besides, my mother taught me better. 

I know it’s best to hand write a note but is it also okay to send them via text or email?

Signed,

Red-Faced

Dear Red,

Your mother DID teach you well. I’m gratified that you’re concerned with your untimely expression of thanks.

The short answer to your first question is: no. It’s always better to send a thank you late than to not send one at all. For those sending thank you notes for wedding or baby gifts, three days to six months after receipt of the gift is acceptable. For anything else, the sooner the better but gratitude is always welcome - no matter how tardy it is.

Texts and emails are acceptable especially for smaller gifts. In my opinion, older folks (like me) need to take the judgment out of the effort. However, if Grandma gave you her mother’s engagement ring as a Christmas gift, you better get out the pen and paper.

A printout of a letter you’ve typed on the computer is also acceptable but handwritten (no matter how bad the handwriting) is still the gold standard and is particularly meaningful to those sentimental people in your life.

Why is a gratitude letter or thank you note so important and powerful? Sonya Lyubomirsky, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside thinks it comes down to three things. 

1. Connection to the people you’re thankful to, because that’s what makes life worth living. 

2. Humility, because when you express gratitude, you realize it’s not just about you. 

3. Inspiration, because when you express gratitude to another person you want to prove yourself worthy of their efforts; you want to be a better person. 

Gratitude is a gift and, when it’s written, lasts forever.