Being Thankful For A Gift You Can’t Put A Price On

As I write this, we are quickly approaching one of those special days of the year when we should be expressing our respect and love for those we hold close to us. Over the years I’ve met a great many of you here on the island and have become close friends with many of your families. Prior to coming here in about 1990 I had the privilege of witnessing the strength of that special bond between my own parents in the mid-60’s.

I mention this, for my parents were young (early 40’s) when my dad was stricken with lung cancer which would move to his spine. The ensuing medical procedures caused him to become paralyzed from the waist down, a terrible sentence of sorts for a man who was athletically gifted and was a three letter sports fanatic in high school. Later in life he would go on to be a dedicated lover of the game of golf which he enjoyed immensely.

My dad loved sports. Whether it be football, baseball or basketball he was an avid fan and as much as he loved those games, he loved talking about sports even more. I guess it would be a gift that fit right into his profession as the local town barber.

There wasn’t a day that we’d walk by his shop that it wasn’t packed on game day with a crowd intensely listening to the radio play-by-play of the Boston Red Sox engaged in a knock down drag out battle for the American League front runners spot.

I tell you the story about his being stricken by that same terrible disease which we continue to fight today to set the stage for a battle which my dad and my mom fought together so bravely over the next ten months in an effort to overcome that terrible affliction which left him with a challenge that neither would surrender to.

Much of the wonderful advancements in medicine we have today did not exist in the early 1960’s. After the procedures involving Cobalt Radiation and surgery would leave him without the mobility he so cherished, neither of them gave up hope with our mother acting as his cheerleader.

My mom never drove or had her license before my dad fell ill but would get the necessary instructions as to handle the car so she could drive the family vehicle to make the journey everyday up to Mary Hitchcock Hospital in Hanover, New Hampshire. This would be about a 45-mile drive through the New Hampshire winter without fail each day for two months while he was there. 

At the same time I’ll never forget my mom readying the downstairs front room to house his hospital bed so he could return home where he would be most comfortable and configure that room to allow for visitors. At the same time she asked a neighbor, who was a wonderful carpenter, what could be done to fashion a ramp to move him in his wheelchair from the porch down to the walkway as soon as spring would break through the cold of winter so he could enjoy the warm rays of sunshine on his face once again.

She slept next to him on a small cot to ensure she could be there if he needed anything at all. She would also stay diligent in rolling him and massaging him to fight against bed sores due to excessive pressure against the skin that limits blood flow to those areas impacted by that pressure. Later in life I came to realize the effort that must have taken, but how much that would relieve him of terrible discomfort.

That dedication to one another, which was based upon love and respect, would always stay with me. Every time I hear a priest, pastor or minister utter the words, “in sickness and in health,” I think about the two of them. About how neither would complain, but instead would look to keep each other’s spirits up, regardless of how bad the day was.

To see how happy my dad was to have had those warm rays of sunshine brush his face and thank my mom for having the neighbors make that sweet ramp possible that would provide him the freedom of the outdoors that spring and until he would pass that November.

Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about chocolates or flowers alone, or simply about this one day on the calendar. It should be about commitment, dedication and respect for the one that you have been lucky enough to find in your journey through life. It is a gift that will always be there to hold your hand and whisper those words of encouragement when times seem the darkest.