Beautiful Dreamers

Okay, okay, I know I promised to be nice, but the people I have affectionately labeled the, they, themand those are beginning to wear me down. First of all, where do they come from? Were they released from some underground socially unacceptable training camp in Southwest Florida all at once? 

Just to prove my point, while I’m sitting at my desk writing this column, a questionable gentleman we never laid eyes on entered the shop and asked my salesperson what is the most expensive piece of jewelry we have in the store? Why, so you can snatch it out of her hand and run out of the shop with it? Who says something like that and expects us to hand a dubious stranger something so valuable in a store full of people? A bit odd, ya think??

So now there is another new annoying social trait I am now going to put out there and attempt to describe, I think I’ll call it B.D.S. (Beautiful Dreamers Syndrome* ) This should not be confused with C.B.S. (Covid Brain Syndrome) although C.B.S. could be a contributing factor to this behavior.

(*an affliction from Covid’s after effects that I believe in theory explains the erratic and non-sensible behavior that has affected many of our country’s citizens).

Many of you Baby Boomers may remember a similar affliction that was known back in the day as a  “Tire Kicker,”** 

(**A Tire Kicker is a prospect who seems interested in making a purchase but never makes a buying decision). Tire kickers frequently engage with salespeople, asking questions and raising objections to everything under the sun, prolonging the sales process without ever committing to purchasing it. I have dealt with these folks for decades and have the gray hair and ulcers to prove it.

This brings us to the newest generation of “Tire Kickers” those I have recently re-named members of “The B.D. syndrome” (AKA Beautiful Dreamers.) Just one thing before I ramble on about B.D.

I recently read a jaded compliment about me on social media where a person recommended me to someone looking for a skilled goldsmith. He also complimented me by saying I was the best on the island, only that I should be less critical of my customers. Ha! J’aime la critique?… I’ve been straining at the bit not writing my true feelings since January 1st and heaven forbid the trouble I would get into if I ever named names.

First of all, the folks I’m told “I’m critical to “cannot be considered real customers. They expect my services to be free, complain about the cost of everything in the shop including supplying and installing a watch battery and never get it changed. They have yet to purchase a single thing in the store and yet they return again and again, year after year…Why? To say the least, if you were in my shoes wouldn’t you be a bit critical?                 

My staff or I most likely explained in brutal honest detail what can and what can’t be done in the wonderful world of jewelry. THESE people don’t want to hear the truth much less accept it, and heaven forbid, have to pay for it! The resulting cause and effect can result in These folks causing an unwarranted scene in a shop full of really nice customers who want to buy things. It’s hard to reason with Those people in a courteous way, so I suggest they bring their annoyingly absurd request somewhere else, and then only moments later, I’m the one lambasted on social media by Them for my poor public behavior. Next, we have the newest social ailment…the  B.D.crowd. These folks go beyond causing gray hair and ulcers - they nearly make the veins in my forehead explode. B.D.’s will come in, look at a piece of jewelry they are interested in at least six times, and each time tell me what they want to pay for it (It’s always a lower amount with each visit). When it comes down to being so close to blowing the dust off and plunking down their credit card with frequent flyer miles (as if they travel?), then the whole scenario changes, “Oh, can we get that in while gold instead of yellow or can you do it in rose and white gold?” And what are the chances they can make it with more diamonds, only smaller?” Is it possible to space the diamonds farther apart? On second thought, I think I’d rather see if you can make the pendant into two rings!”

You looked at this piece six times, and now you are telling me to alter it differently? The company that makes the piece of jewelry is almost always in Europe, all I can do is ask if they will. After numerous back-and-forth emails in broken English where most of my and their correspondences went into spam, it took three weeks and numerous wasted hours later to hash it out and finally get the answer yes, they will do it. It always costs considerably more and give or take a month of Sundays for the factory to make it to your specifications and then even more delay having it pass through customs in Miami. Then, I have to make numerous attempts to notify the couple of the results of my relentless pursuit of their B.D. request, only eventually to hear, Gee thanks, but no thanks, we decided to purchase a new boat instead...Really? You gotta be kidding me. I woke up, shaved and went to work for this total waste of time?

So, forgive me if this old dog won’t chase the stick thrown into the Lake of Uncertainty after fifty some odd years of doing time-wasting nonsensical requests for These people who never return calls and then refuse to follow through. To add insult to injury, I’m the first one they run to when they want a free appraisal on jewelry they purchased from someone else! I’m so done with that. Why can’t B.D.’s purchase what they see in front of them not something that does not exist on this planet. Wait, I forgot that’s what makes them Beautiful Dreamers. 

Doing custom made-to-order jewelry is a different matter and sometimes that can be a trying experience when dealing with a potential Beautiful Dreamer(s). Then again, the old dog learned a new trick; the moment I identify someone with B.D.(his and her hats made of Reynolds Wrap is a sure give away!) I will demand a 50% deposit off the bat. Inject the thought of an immediate monetary commitment in the conversation and watch them fly out the door with not so much as a goodbye. That maneuver saves me a lot of time and trouble. In my perfect world, those who do not suffer from severe case of B.D.will leave a deposit to begin a jewelry project, meaning they won’t spend three lost hours wearing me down with unattainable hopes, whims, wishes and dreams.

Believe me, for decades I went the extra mile for each and every customer that entered my shop. For those of you readers who currently have their own shop or work in retail, I’m sure this column hits a high note with you; it’s tough enough out there making ends meet in business today and working with people who make it quite clear from the beginning they have no intentions of spending one thin dime, you finally learn which ones are not worth the time to try to “sell them” and move on to those who with the slim 50/ 50 chance that might.

B.D.’s especially love to put expensive articles on hold and that’s the last you hear of them. I once found a very expensive one-of-a-kind diamond ring “on hold” in the safe it - had been there over four months without a deposit (no jeweler I know holds anything indefinitely without a deposit!). The gentleman was called several times with no response from him about whether he wanted the ring or not. After eight months, I put it back in stock and sold it a month later. He strolls in a full year later, asking about the ring and loses his mind because I sold it. Sorry, no deposit and no verbal commitment…that means no ring for you!

B.D’s also enjoy trying my sales staff, sometimes for hours, looking through catalogs. They even ask if they can bring several catalogs home to study in the confines of their underground bunkers!!!

My windows and showcases are stuffed with beautiful jewelry costing way below current gold market prices. I can’t believe it when people insist on looking in catalogs for things that most certainly are not in stock or completely discontinued and will wind up costing way more than the price printed in the catalog.

I just turned 70 years of age, and yes, I’m a bit grumpy. I still can’t believe I’m still living and learning about people at this point of the game. Then again, my sales approach should reflect a sign I once saw twenty years ago in an old up country hardware store. It certainly cuts to the chase:

If we don’t have it, you don’t need it!

That should get a few comments online.