Aunt Carole, the Fireworks, and the Rocket: Part One

When the upcoming Fourth of July began to creep up on the calendar, and the 250th anniversary of the United States and everything uniquely American, and nostalgic, and wonderfully big, and heroically fun, began to build like fireworks ready to pop, Aunt Carole knew that the approaching holiday had to be the most extravagant celebration ever.

Because Aunt Carole was reuniting with Grandmother over the last two years, she felt that life with the matriarch of the huge Midwestern family was now moving along nicely. As with many families, however, there had been bumps on the road to resolution.

The nightmare of her whirlwind romance in Europe was still in the rearview mirror, along with the expensive Italian sports car that was still racing around somewhere with her former fiancé. After that very fast and fuzzy year, when she spent almost all of her family inheritance and became an international social media sensation who was bordering on notorious, Grandmother’s Marco Island palatial estate did provide a much-needed refuge from more than one problem. After returning to Grandmother’s headquarters and the matriarch’s careful guidance—that was not up for negotiation—almost all the other mishaps were mostly in the past.

The biggest calamity was still the bank robbery. After all, who would have imagined that banks actually hide tracking devices in liberated money along with explosive dye packs that pop like fireworks under the family Christmas tree, were everyone, including the FBI, was watching.

In retrospect, it was probably not a good idea to dress in a Santa Claus suit and rob a bank so the kids could have cash on Christmas Eve. It was also probably not good to drink too many margaritas during a spring break party and get in trouble again because the dance floor was not big enough for the favorite aunt who could not control her dancing skills.

The marijuana brownies at the Super Bowl party were something that Grandmother still did not know about—although the old girl did have more fun than ever and was now an eager football fan who never missed a game.

The big turnaround came after the GPS disaster and Aunt Carole was sent to the wrong address for Grandmother’s Easter egg hunt. After that little mishap, where the plastic eggs were full of ridiculous amounts of cash, Aunt Carole, in her designer Easter bunny suit, finally cracked the ice when the old girl learned the very expensive mistake gave a bunch of money to a family who really needed the cash.

The latest Christmas, however, was perfect. This was when Aunt Carole came upon a rickety Santa sleigh in an old circus warehouse, and somehow it arrived with shining perfection on Christmas morning. This was another plus in the Aunt Carole column, but for the upcoming party at Grandmother’s estate, the quirky aunt who was almost everyone’s favorite knew America’s biggest birthday had to be beyond special.

With her phone fully charged, her bathing costume and her cover-up award-winning, Aunt Carole sat in her favorite chaise lounge at the waterfall-jungle pool that was looking a lot like an adventure movie. Grandmother was big on pleasing the kids and she definitely wanted to be the ringleader of fun and adventure.

As she considered the view out to the Gulf and the vast chain of mangroves and the natural beauty of the islands, Aunt Carole began to decide what kind of celebration she would order for Grandmother’s Fourth of July celebration. She also began to consider what kind of outfit she would wear to be the most stylish participant of the big occasion.

The first image that came to mind was something in the Paul Revere era of fashion. Quickly, she began to imagine herself on horseback riding along the streets of Marco with a glowing lantern, an outstretched arm with a charging sword, and one of the popular triangle hats worn by the Continental Army.

Next, she began to consider a Rosie the Riveter image of the heroic women of the Second World War, who really did save America while the men were away serving but could not build anything because they were overseas and fighting for freedom. The idea did have appeal and it might honor grandmother, or it might make her feel old. After looking around for more inspiration, she knew that hurting anyone’s feelings was not a good idea, so she instantly decided to go for something modern.

A sassy space suit might be a good idea, with some shiny silver jewelry, some moon boots, and a hairstyle that was out of this world, and the more she thought about the future of Americans in space, the more she liked the idea of everything space-age for the big celebration.

After she called a fabulous clothing designer and placed a rush order on a space suit costume that would rival anything out of Hollywood science fiction, she made contact with a drone company and made very expensive arrangements for a display of drones to fly over Grandmother’s estate.

Because the finale of her theme was to be about the future of America and the exploration of outer space, Aunt Carole also ordered a rocket for Grandmother’s backyard. The people at the “Super Rocketeer” website were very excited to have the opportunity to fuel their ambitious project, and even though the rocket was big and demanding a lot of money, the big bang of the space suit costume, the swarm of drones, and a real rocket might go down as the best party ever.

After everything was on order, and Grandmother’s credit card was finished working overtime, Aunt Carole felt certain the story after this year’s upcoming Fourth of July would be unforgettable!

Please look forward to next week!