Aunt Carole and the Easter Egg Hunt

Every family has someone special, and over the years, Aunt Carole has proven repeatedly to be that very special relative. Aunt Carole never married, secreted a life of mystery whenever she was away from Grandmother Mary, her siblings, and her many nieces and nephews, but to many of younger family members, Aunt Carole was more exciting than any social media, or for that matter, anything at that could be found on the Internet or TV.

When Aunt Carole drank too much eggnog, threw up on Grandmothers’ heirloom Christmas tree and then jumped into a Santa Claus suit, drove to Miami and robbed a bank to give all the relatives cash for Christmas presents - to make up for the eggnog fiasco - she broke into a level of family notoriety that was unsurpassed. Aunt Carole really became legendary when the stolen money dye-packs exploded red stain all over the holiday decorations of Grandmother's estate home and the FBI came through the front door and took the family legend away.

Even more surprising than the bank robbery and the arrest was when Grandmother hired the very best in legal defense and got the quirky but very stylish aunt off with an outrageous fine, probation, and an ankle monitoring GPS device that tracked her every movement. After the big scene with the mansion, the heirloom Christmas tree, the exploding red stains, and stolen cash, Aunt Carole was to remain in Collier County until an upcoming hearing in a Federal courthouse.

This of course, could never stop Aunt Carole. During a recent spring break, the beautiful but infamous aunt had another family adventure at a local waterfront bar and restaurant with a vat of margaritas, a local entertainer, and a large Bentley full of nieces and nephews. This escapade ended on the dance floor that the restaurant manager said was not big enough for Aunt Carole and her expressive dancing.

Grandmother Mary of course learned of the notorious waterfront episode that soon became a widespread sensation in the local newspaper and on social media. Because grandmother was wise, or possibly, because the elderly and stately socialite was once a high achiever among newspaper headlines in her own time, she explained as she was holding court in her mansion in the estates that family was family, forgiveness was divine, and that no matter the circumstances, everyone deserved a second or even third chance at redemption.

After Aunt Carole’s busy season with the bank, the FBI, and the viral incident with the restaurant manager on the dance floor, she, under her grandmother’s careful supervision, was trying to maintain a low profile. This, for the quirky aunt however, was like trying to keep a delicate teapot lid balancing on top of a rumbling volcano.

To keep family matters under the scale of a mild earthquake, grandmother decided she needed to take control and focus the energy of Aunt Carole on a mission.

About a decade before the first famous incident with Aunt Carole, when the stylish and beautiful family member had about as many would-be boyfriend suitors as ants at a picnic, Grandmother had her own episode in life with another distant family member.

After the bequeathal of the family fortune, in which grandmother inherited enough money to run a small nation, a bitter feud erupted with one of grandmother’s cousins. Years had passed, but Grandmother Mary was still fretting over the old altercation and decided it was time to release the wild energy of Aunt Carole for the benefit of the family.

Under grandmother’s careful and well-planned supervision, Aunt Carole was to attend every church service for Lent and all the church activities for Holy Week, because she would not be going to church on Easter Sunday. Instead, Aunt Carole was to rise early on Easter, jump into a tailor-made Easter bunny suit, and carefully hide about a hundred plastic Easter eggs near the modest home and front and back yard of the distant cousins and family members who did not inherit money but who were never-the less still disgruntled about the old bequeathal and massive inheritance.

The mission far Aunt Carole was simple. She was to stuff the colorful plastic eggs with hundred dollar bills for the distant cousins to find on Easter morning. Earlier, Grandmother Mary’s personal assistant had gone to the bank to retrieve a large withdrawal because grandmother did not go to any bank and Aunt Carole under the stipulation of the FBI, and Federal court, was not to place her court appointed ankle monitor on or near the property of any bank or credit union.

With grandmother very serious about the Easter egg hunt, Aunt Carole stuffed all of the cash into all of the eggs. Most of the plastic eggs were heavy with at least five hundred dollars, but some of the colorful presents held over two thousand in crisp new hundreds.

When the early morning alarm sounded, Aunt Carole slipped out of bed and jumped into the bunny rabbit suit. With the big bunny ears flopping everywhere but the gray suede gloves, perfect for hiding the cash-stuffed eggs all over the front and backyard of the modest home at the address Grandmother sent in a text message, Aunt Carole was smiling between the floppy ears and the bunny whiskers as she completed her secret mission just before sunrise.

With anticipation driving her crazy, and her volatile energy almost ready to erupt, Aunt Carole with the big ears and bunny whiskers, waited behind some bushes until she heard a covey of children run out the door on the way to church. When the kids saw the first eggs that were not hard to spot, they went crazy. When all the heavy eggs were in the hands of the children within a few minutes, Aunt Carole jumped up from behind the bushes and announced, “I’m the Easter bunny! Grandmother Mary sent me over for a very special Easter Sunday. Happy Easter!”

After a moment of silence with the all of the parents and kids in shock as they began to open the eggs, the parents looked at each other in surprise and then to the Easter bunny who was waiting. “Who is Grandmother Mary?”

As her ears flopped and her smile and bunny whiskers fell, Aunt Carole suddenly realized she had been the Easter bunny at the wrong address.