A Day at the Beach

My heart goes out to my customers and friends who experienced the wrath and aftereffects of Helene and Milton; I wish you all a speedy recovery to island normalcy. I was fortunate to escape any major damage and was able to re-open the shop on Monday the 14th and that was a surprisingly busy day even though my staff and I were still working feverishly trying to put everything back together.

You have to love the folks living here in Paradise, namely Marco Island. Here it is, a little more than 72 hours after what could have been a major catastrophe, and here are my stout hardy islanders and nearby Neapolitans buying gifts for loved ones or something special for themselves. They are also dropping off repairs, leaving pearls for re-stringing and a ton of watches for battery replacement… just like nothing happened, another normal day in mid-October.

I have been running on fumes since Friday de-hurricaneing and cleaning up my home and business after spending hours in the rain and wind putting up hurricane panels, making them hurricane-proof, with hopefully all the preparation being Hurricane Honey Bunny Approved by my wife. (I told my wife I had words with the Almighty, and he or she sent me a sign that we would be spared any major damage). Needless to say, my wife wouldn’t buy it or hear a word of it so I had to strip every piece of jewelry from the shop and store it somewhere safe and on higher ground. Then, the process focused on my home that involved two trips to Lowes moving fifty some odd bags of mulch that I used as water dams on doors, sliders, and the garage instead of sand. (Don’t laugh, plastic bagged mulch works much better than sand and you can put it to use in the yard later).

Needless to say, I’m not finished moving bags of mulch and putting things back where they belong, and the shop is a bit off-kilter - I’m not exactly running on all eight cylinders. Besides, I’m way too old for this!! 

So, there I am in the store only days after Milton, still cleaning and rearranging, and I can’t help but overhear a conversation between my daughter Lindsay and an impatient first-time customer who I sense just recently moved here, “Gee, I can’t wait; you can’t just do right now? My jeweler up north always did it while I waited. What happened to customer service?”Customer service! Getting a battery replaced the same or next day is good customer service where I come from. So, instead of blowing a head gasket, I bit my tongue, and I’m reminded of a song I recently heard titled “You got a lot to learn about living down here.”

It sure is a different kind of life down here if all you have ever done is fly first class directly from somewhere up north to Southwest Florida and wind up here in “Mayberry with Sand Island.” You missed the reality of actually driving down here through the Bible Belt and experiencing the true Southern lifestyle on the scenic drive - that’s how you get the gist of how the other half lives. Driving through the deep South, you wind up here in the deep Southwest of the good old U.S. of A.

Some days, the toughest decision a lot of us locals have to make is what goes best with the fish we’re grillin’ - is it sangria or beer! I’m not trying to be mean or snide, wink, wink, nod, nod. Let’s call it some friendly corrective criticism. Even some seasoned islanders had to learn “The Difference Here” the hard way; I admit when I stepped foot here in ‘94, it did not take me long to realize… Gee whiz Dorothy, this ain’t Kansas! These folks sure enjoy life and move slower than I’m used to!

More friendly advice to the new resident arrivals. This certainly isn’t the hustle and bustle of Boston, New York, New Jersey, Chicago, or wherever urban area you originally came from; it’s Southwest Florida, aka the tropics. There are a thousand reasons why we live here despite the fact we endure hurricanes, floods, oppressive heat spells, mosquitoes, alligators, bugs, and lizards, not to mention the many varieties of unruly visitors. Lest I forget… ladies and gentlemen, may I present the latest of characters that have decided to grace the island with their presence... ”The Entitled.” This breed of Highfalutin’ Homo sapiens come here with moving trucks and boxes packed full of their northern ideals and expectations and, immediately after unpacking, decide where to begin shaping and molding their surroundings which includes the entire island to their selfish Utopian specifications.

One should never try to fix anything that’s not broken. Good luck with that, Mr. and Mrs. Entitled! Most of us were fortunate to choose to live here in Paradise to actually escape these Cretans, hence the sand, ocean and the palm trees, poolside cocktails and barbeques. They seem not to notice because they are hell-bent to complain about everything and everybody on the island that, in their twisted mind, is not to their standards. Isn’t the peace and quiet, tranquility and glorious sunshine the reason you came here?

So, it may seem to you some island businesses or owners are not as hyper-responsive or turbo motivated as you are accustomed to up yonder. Yes, it’s an acquired talent to relax. So, I advise you to slow down, loosen up, and cool your jets. Blend in and don’t make wakes or waves and don’t be that problem neighbor; just be friendly and courteous. It will be returned to you tenfold. Please take in the surroundings and try to enjoy yourself. What’s your hurry anyway, you’re here! By the way, to the genuinely nice newcomers I have met, congratulations on the purchase of your new house or condo, and welcome to Marco Island! 

That said, if there are no hard feelings about my “I had to say it because no one else will rant.” I would love to be your Island jeweler. Come in and say hello, heed my advice, be nice, be patient, and receive a free welcome gift. If you wish to continue living here with that “Entitled Thing” attitude, well, good luck finding anyone here who will even tell you the time of day. Maybe if you ask nicely and I’m not tied up working on jobs for my courteous and patient customers, I could be inclined to indulge you with a “while you wait” watch battery.